Pursuing Sanity
by Max Pilote
Summary: AU. What would it have been like if James Potter had stopped Voldemort in the hallway? A thirst for revenge leads James to the edge of insanity and back as he chases down the rat that betrayed his family.
1. A Different Result

**Pursuing Sanity  
  
By: Max Pilote  
  
Rating: PG-13 for intense situations and mild violence  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own anything from Harry Potter and I don't pretend to. Um, some of the information might be innaccurate and a good deal of the information has been twisted on purpose. Sorry for spelling mistakes and word confusion. Sometimes, MS Word just hates the hell out of me.  
  
Archives: TDR Fantasy Forest (www.tdrfantasyforest.tk)  
  
Feedback:  
  
Summary: AU. What would it have been like if James Potter had stopped Voldemort in the hallway? A thirst for revenge leads James to the edge of insanity and back as he chases down the rat that betrayed his family.**

**Author's Notes: To touch up on a few things. Every now and then, James's awesome Quidditch skills are mentioned. I always say that his is a Chaser because J. K. Rowling mentioned in an interview that James Potter was the Chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Also, things in _italics_ are supposed to be flashbacks and things in 'single quotes' such as those words are meant to be thoughts. They will mostly be followed by "he thought" or other such nonsense, but sometimes, they're not. This is just a warning.**

* * *

_Chapter One – A Different Result_

Thunder roared as lightning lashed across the sky. Rain began to fall from the heavens, beating gently upon the earth below. The rubble of the once beautiful house was smoking as the rain extinguished the small figures that had been burning. Debris and rubble lay scattered across the front yard. Large piece of the walls and roof had fallen into the beautiful flower beds and gardens that had lined the house, destroying them. Items that were precious to the family that had lived here lay scattered and buried within the wreckage, broken and useless.

This was the scene that Sirius Black came upon as he landed his motorcycle in the front yard. It was horrifying. This is where his dearest friend James Potter had been hiding away with his wife Lily and his infant son Harry.

The ever present threat of the Dark Lord had been growing for years now. James and the rest of his friends had formed the Order of the Phoenix, dedicated to defeating Voldemort.

The years following had been happy, even with the threat of Voldemort. James Potter had finally married Lily Evans and soon after they had a beautiful son whom they affectionately named Harry James Potter.

Harry, however, was doomed to a tragic life. A prophecy had been told that Harry Potter would supposedly be the one to destroy Voldemort. Thus, the Dark Lord went to kill him. James and Lily took their son and hid away from the world in Godric's Hollow. James had wanted to make Sirius his secret keeper, his best friend in the entire world. Sirius, though, thought he was too obvious a choice and passed the job to Peter Pettigrew. This would be a choice he would regret.

"Don't worry," Sirius would remember James saying, "because I have an escape plan. I won't let Voldemort harm my family or my friends. Not the ones I love again."

Apparently, his escape plan had not included saving his own life. As Sirius picked his way through the rubble of Godric's Hollow, what little hope he had held in his heart of James being alive was dwindling and fading.

He started in the family room, which was the first room after what should have been the small entrance hall. Remnants of furniture and other household objects were indistinguishable to the debris of the rest of the house. He picked up different pictures that were mostly unharmed by the fires and the destruction, then placed them in his bag. Covered in glass and soot was a leather bound book, a Potter family album. This was also placed in Sirius's bag.

"Lily will want these," he said to himself.

James's supposedly great escape plan was rather simple. James would hold off Voldemort while Lily left with Harry under the invisibility cloak and took a portkey to Dumbledore. Luckily, Sirius had been speaking with Dumbledore at the moment Lily appeared, breathless and nearly hysteric. She was crying and Harry was crying. It was nearly impossible to gather anything from her. After several moments, they found out that Voldemort had attacked them. She admitted ruefully that she didn't expect James to survive.

Through her tears, she recounted the tale. She remembered James running into Harry's bedroom as she was dressing her infant son for bed. He placed the invisibility cloak in her arms and a deep, loving kiss upon her lips. Kissing Harry on the forehead, he bid them both good-bye, saying that Voldemort had come and they needed to escape. As Lily crossed the yard and reached for the portkey, she saw James go past the window as if he had been thrown. She heard him scream as if in great pain. Then, she saw the green flash of light. The house began to rumble slightly and the roof began to cave in on itself. Feeling that her James was dead, she simply grabbed the portkey and left.

Padfoot refused to believe that his friend was dead.

"No one can defeat the great James Potter," he repeated softly to himself as he made his way from the family room and through the dining room. James had said that so many times himself, maybe they were all starting to believe it.

He made his way through the dining room and then into a long hallway. The hallway had many doors to it. The first on the right lead to the master bedroom where Lily and James spent so many nights sleeping peacefully in each other's arms. The second on the right was a washroom. The first on the left was a study where the two kept had their extensive collection of books, either gifts or things gotten from travels and stores. The second on the left was a small room that had held a rocking chair and many different toys that an infant might play with. Either James or Lily would watch their baby as he played with the toys and smile when he smiled. At the very end of the hallway, however, was Harry Potter's bedroom. This was where James Potter had made his last stand.

Sirius could almost see the scene play in his mind as if he were there. He saw the door the opened up to the hallway splinter and explode as Voldemort destroyed it. He found James standing in the middle of the hallway, his wand pointed at the Dark Lord.

"Get out of my way boy, I'm only hear for the child."

He could hear James's response. "Harry's too young to harm you! I won't let you get near him!"

"Are you sure that is a wise choice, Potter? This isn't school anymore. You can't fly away on your broomstick or call on your friend's for help."

James had probably thrown the worst curses he could think of at Voldemort, just to stall him, save for the Unforgivable curses. For a few seconds, he fell back to take a breath, sure that Lily and Harry had gotten away safely.

"Why do you continue to fight if they are not here? You will pay for your distraction."

What Lily had seen must have been from Voldemort throwing James into the door that lead to Harry's room before following him in there. The crib Harry had slept in was probably shattered as James was most likely thrown it, the large and small wood splinters stabbing into his back. The screams Lily had heard could have only come from the Cruciatus curse. Like a knife in his heart, Sirius could never imagine that pain as he could see James fall to the floor and cry out in pain, but refuse to beg for mercy.

Sirius walked along the ruins of the long hallway and finally reached what would have been the entrance to Harry's bedroom. Where the door might have been, there lay a black cloak much like the one Voldemort was often seen wearing. He stepped on it, rather heavily, before moving forward. What remained of the furniture cracked under his feet and he looked down. Shards of glass reflected the lightning as it flashed in the sky once more. He brushed the wet strands of hair from his face and knelt down, picking up what remained of a pair of black, rounded glasses.

He recognized them almost immediately. His hands bled as he moved the large pieces of roof and wall as quickly as he could. James was buried under this pile, and he knew it. There was no way that he was leaving without James, dead or alive.

Fortunately, James was actually alive. As Sirius removed the last of the debris from on top of his fallen friend, the young wizard coughed as a full burst of air rushed into his lungs. His eyes shot open when he realized that he wasn't dead. Blood covered his body from various cuts and gashes.

"Can you hear me?" asked Sirius softly as he checked James's head for any fatal injuries.

James answered him with what seemed to be halfway between a groan and a whimper. Whatever had happened had to have been bad. There was never a time that Sirius could remember his friend being this horribly injured. He remembered watching all the Quidditch games James had played in, and he remembered the way his heart nearly stopped when he saw the star player plummet to the ground or when he was struck by a bludger. Even if he added all those injuries together, it wouldn't equal the horror he felt as he gazed upon the battered body of the once proud young wizard.

Rather loud shouts and other curious noises were starting to grow louder as the muggles in the area began to come out of their homes to investigate what happened. Trying unsuccessfully not to cause James anymore pain, Sirius moved the broken Prongs onto his motorcycle, climbing on behind him. He slipped his arm around James's waist to hold him there as Sirius drove a safe distance away from the non-magical folk before taking off into the night sky.

"Sirius?" It seemed as though James was finding his voice, but it was nearly impossible to hear over the roar of the engine as the motorcycle soared through the air.

"Don't talk, James," advised Sirius in a soothing, calm voice. "Just try and get some sleep, we'll be up here for a while."

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Author's Notes: How's that for a first chapter? Please review!!**


	2. We Were Wrong

**Author's Notes: Before you start, there's a small thing I want to warn you about! Um, if something is in _italics_ (other than the title, author, and chapter title at the beginning of the fic), it is meant to be a flashback or a dream. If it's a flashback, it'll normally have something that tells the date of the flashback. Okay, enjoy the story!**

* * *

_Pursuing Sanity_

_By: Max Pilote_

_Chapter Two – We Were Wrong_

A clatter rose from the next room, as if a box of things had been hurled across the room. Remus J. Lupin stood from his seat beside the sleeping James in order to investigate the noise. As he walked in the next room, he had to duck to avoid being hit by a flying book.

"Sirius, please keep it down. You'll wake James, and he needs his rest." said Remus in his usually calm tone. "Why, pray tell, are you making a gigantic mess out of your apartment?"

It was like watching a frantic puppy look for its favorite ball, only there was no air of happiness around Sirius Black. Only anger and fury radiated from the normally carefree aura about the young wizard as he glanced on briefly at his roommate before returning to his search.

"Please answer me," pleaded the werewolf with a frown.

With a heavy sigh, Sirius turned to Remus. "I can't remember where I put my wand," he said bluntly, throwing the blankets and pillows off his bed before moving on to dig through the chest of drawers, throwing clothes across the room.

"It's in the kitchen where you left it," answered Lupin wisely. "But why to do you need it? There isn't much left to be scared of now that James had defeated Voldemort."

"Because this is my fault!" said Sirius angrily, grabbing his wand off the kitchen table before turning to leave. Remus was standing in the kitchen door, blocking him.

"What is your fault? What are you talking about?"

He looked down at the ground. Only a few hours had passed since he had rescued James from the ruins of Godric's Hollow, where he surely would have died if Sirius had only come later than he had. There was no way he could forgive himself after seeing James like that.

"It was my fault that Voldemort nearly killed them! I was the one stupid enough to suggest that we make Wormtail the secret keeper because I was too stupid to trust you. I can't believe we thought that _you_ , of all people, were the spy. No, instead we chose a rat! I left the lives of some of the few people who are that precious to me in the hands of a rat! We should have known when we discovered his animagus form. We should have known that he'd turn out to be a traitor! I'll never forgive myself unless Pettigrew is dead."

Remus frowned in that way a mother may when she was looking at her child sympathetically. He didn't move from his place in the doorway.

"Sirius, the authorities will catch him," he said, a pathetic attempt to calm down the enraged Padfoot. "You can't just kill him. It's against the law, Sirius. This isn't like breaking school rules. If you're caught, you don't just get a slap on the wrist or a week in detention. You get sent to jail, Sirius. Azkaban of all places, damnit! You can't survive in a place like that. No one can."

"You're not changing my mind, Moony, now move," said Sirius threateningly as he pointed his wand at Remus.

Lupin didn't move, though. Just as his roommate would not falter on his decision, the werewolf would not falter on his. He was not going to let Sirius walk out of that house unless by force.

"Remus! Move!" demanded Padfoot. He didn't want to hurt Remus, but if he didn't move...

He had been his voice of reason for years now. Every time Sirius had given any indication that he was going to do something stupid or dangerous, Remus would always be there to remind him that he had to grow up. There would be Lupin, standing beside him and shaking his head in disappointment, saying that they weren't in school anymore and it was time to shed his old habits and silly ways.

Sirius Black was deaf to that little voice of reason now. There was only that one cold voice, filled with malice and anger, telling him that there was only one way to make things right. It spoke only of revenge, but he spoke it so loudly that Lupin's desperate attempts to calm his friend were in vain.

* * *

"_No, Harry! Don't eat that."_

_A soft, almost melodic laughter filled his ears. The sun shined faintly through the deep blue curtains into the room where he was currently sleeping. Slowly, he opened his eyes. The dim light from the shining sun gave the woman sitting on the end of the bed a beautiful and radiant glow. Red hair cascaded over her shoulders, slender hands trying to softly pry it from the fingers of a beautiful infant boy in her arms._

_She turned to him, her beautiful green eyes shining with happiness and love._

"_Good morning, sleepy-head," she said, her voice melodic and soothing. "Say hello to Daddy, Harry."_

_The infant giggled as the woman gently tickled him._

"_James, are you feeling okay?" asked the woman softly, noticing that he said nothing._

_He smiled and sat up, "I'm doing great, sweetheart. And what is little Harry up to this morning?"_

"_Little Harry is chewing on Mummy's hair," she replied with a smile, for the baby, of course, couldn't talk. He giggled and squirmed in his mother's arms. Holding her baby closely, she moved to a spot beside her husband and kissed his cheek._

"_I love you, Lily," he whispered softly with a smile on his face._

"_I love you, too," replied the red-headed beauty as she placed the squirming infant in his father's lap._

_He had so many qualities of both his parents. Harry had obviously inherited his father's unruly black hair, and it looked as though he was going to need glasses, just as James did. From his mother, he gained her beautiful green eyes and soft complexion. He was playful like his father, and a handful for his loving mother._

_Lily kissed James softly before getting up._

"_Where are you going?" he asked with a frown._

"_To make you breakfast, silly."_

_James nodded and started to play with his son, hoping that he could distract him from tugging on his hair. Harry giggled sweetly as his father tickled his stomach and made silly faces at him. Sometimes, it amazed James that such innocence still existed in the world, as dark as it was._

_With the rise of Voldemort and his iron will to cleanse the world of all whom he deemed unworthy. It was his plan to rid the world of magic of all those who had even the slightest bit of muggle lineage in their blood. The pure-bloods who claimed to befriend those whom the Dark Lord deemed dirty were not spared from his wrath._

_All of the wizards and witches lived in constant fear of Voldemort. They always asked the same questions. Were they going to be the next victims of Voldemort and the Death Eaters, his loyal followers who were willing to do anything for their dark master? Would they always live under the horrible reign and fear that You Know Who had established?_

_James chuckled softly at the mention of that silly epithet for the dark sorcerer. He was unsure of how such a silly thing had started, probably out of fear, but people everywhere never dared speak his name. It was almost as if they believed the very mention of his name would bring his wrath down upon them._

_The infant Harry began to cry as Lily's scream echoed through the house. James tried to get up, but his body wouldn't move. Harry started to cry and scream, frightened. The only thing his father could do was hold him closer. Ever since he had begun to date Lily, James's life seemed so much like a dream. Now, it was quickly turning into a nightmare. He heard Lily scream, but this time she cried out for him, calling out his name desperately as if she were expecting him to rush to aid. His body wouldn't move! He couldn't get to his wife!_

_Harry continued to scream, so James rocked him gently, whispering that everything would be okay._

"_Daddy will always keep you safe," he whispered softly. "Don't worry, Mummy will be okay and we'll still be one big happy family forever."_

_It was like a hand was squeezing his heart. Even he didn't believe his words as he heard the footsteps come up the stairs. He continued to tell Harry that he would always be safe and that Daddy would always protect him, no matter what. As the door burst open, he knew exactly who would step it._

"_Daddy and Mummy love you," whispered James softly into the crying Harry's ear. "Mummy and Daddy will always love you."_

_The room was suddenly filled with a blinding green light, and Harry's crying suddenly stopped..._

* * *

James woke up, involuntarily crying out in fear as he sat up quickly. Faster than he had sat up, he laid back down. Pain shot through his entire body when he moved. It made his stomach turn, nausea threatening to overwhelm him.

The door burst open. The broken wizard jumped from fear, half-expecting it to be Voldemort.

"Calm down, Prongs," whispered Remus soothingly. Sirius came in shortly after him, the two forgetting their quarrel when they heard James's cry. "What happened?"

Prongs shook his head, "Lily and Harry...where are they? Are they alive?"

Sirius frowned as he sat on the edge of the bed. He noticed the panic in his friend's voice. It hurt him to say what he had to. "They are very much alive, but you can't see them right now," he said, his voice full of remorse and regret. "You are a danger to them right now, for the Death Eaters are probably looking for you. You defeated their master."

A bewildered look replaced the worried one that had once been on James's face. "I defeated Voldemort?" asked the confused wizard. Why didn't he remember that?

The two Marauders exchanged worried glances. Sirius temporarily forgot his plans for revenge, the malice and fury covered by worry and concern. Gently, he felt James's forehead for any sign of a fever. Then he nearly laughed at himself. Of course the beaten wizard would have a fever. He had been lying bleeding, his body buried in the wreckage of his home while the rain poured relentlessly upon him.

Remus shook his head at Sirius. "He isn't delirious. He's in shock," he muttered softly, not wanting James to hear. "Of course he doesn't remember defeating Voldemort. Imagine how traumatizing that was? Anyone would block it out of their memory. He'll remember eventually, just don't say anything about it. It might cause him to panic."

Sirius laughed slightly. "Sorry, I was just trying to make you cheer up," he said quickly as James turned his curious eyes on Padfoot.

"Then why can't I see Lily and Harry?"

"Because," said the wise werewolf, clearing his throat authoritatively, "it was Dumbledore's feeling that we split you two up, seeing as though the Dark Lord seems to be focusing most of their attention on you."

It was a complete lie, but they both knew that James would believe it for the time being. Eventually, he would remember, but that was not the time they should worry about that.

They watched as James went back to sleep, his body and mind exhausted and worn. At least they knew he would live. For a few hours there, fear hung heavily in the air at the tiny apartment in London. It seemed as though their old friend was going to die.

For nearly an hour, they sat in silence. Either they dare not speak out of fear of waking James, or they were angry with one another for the argument in the kitchen.

Remus J. Lupin only wanted to keep his friends safe. For the past year, he had hardly spoken to them. Somehow, they had thought him to the spy among the Marauders. They cut him off from the group, scared that he might sell James out to the Dark Lord.

Tonight, however, he got the call from Sirius.

* * *

_October 31st, 1981_

_He smiled softly to himself as he looked at all his old school things. There was something about Hogwarts that made him smile, despite his horrible ailment. As he sat in the large chair in front of the fire, torn and beaten like most of the items inherited from his parents, Remus J. Lupin smiled softly as he searched through his school things._

_A wave of sadness passed over him as he pulled an old picture from one of his old schoolbooks. It was a picture of the infamous Marauders, makers of the Marauders' Map and Purveyors of Magical Mischief. On the right was chubby little Peter Pettigrew with a bright smile on his round face. On the far left stood himself, his caramel colored hair windblown while his amber eyes stared blankly into the camera. Standing beside him was one of his greatest friends, Sirius Black. Sirius, as usual, had the biggest smile on his face, his grey eyes shining with a strange sort of happiness that made everyone else smile. At times, he could be insensitive, but he was still understanding._

_Beside Sirius stood James Potter. Those two should have been born brothers, they were so alike. James was this tall boy with a good-natured smile, black hair that refused to be tamed, and round black glasses over hazel colored eyes that held a burning determination in them. He was smiling at the camera, clutching his beloved broomstick in one hand. If there was one thing that Remus would always remember about James was his unbreakable desire to fly. That was his passion. When he was on his broomstick, he was no longer part of this world. When James Potter mounted his broomstick and took off into the air, he was in his own little world, consisting only of the sky._

_Of course, these were the infamous Marauders. The four teenagers smiling carelessly and playing around in the moving picture were Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs._

_Remus couldn't remember the last time he had been called Moony. Then again, the Marauders were such a distant memory now. Shortly after graduation, James Potter got married to the woman of his dreams, Lily Evans. Soon, they bore a son, Harry James Potter. Remus had only held baby Harry once, and that was before the troubles started._

_It was obvious that Voldemort was searching for the Potters. Thus, it was decided that the small family hide away from the darkness of the world, giving them a chance to raise their son in peace._

_Suspicions of a spy among them started to grow within the Marauders. Unfortunately, the suspicious were focused upon Remus. Since then, he had heard little of his friends._

_He took to hiding in his little cabin, hoping the world would never find him. Still, sometimes he found himself wondering who the real traitor was and what was to happen to the Potters._

_The werewolf sighed and placed everything back in the box, putting the picture on the bottom once more. He stood from the chair and carried the box back to his bedroom, placing it on the top shelf of the closet. There were some memories that would never leave him. Even if he wasn't trusted by his friends anymore, they had been great when he actually had a friendship with them._

_"MOONY!"_

_The name sent unwanted chills down his spine. It had been months since he had heard that name, especially directed at him. The voice, too, sent an unfamiliar wave of emotion sweeping through his body. A tear came to his cheek and he wiped it away._

_With urgency, he rushed to the fire place and saw Sirius._

_"What is wrong?" he asked with a frown._

_"We were wrong about you, Remus. You weren't the spy, it was Peter!" exclaimed Sirius. His voice held a panicked and frightened tone, with a small mixture of sorrow and remorse._

_"What is wrong?" asked Remus. "Whatever it is, it sounds urgent."_

_"Peter betrayed James! Voldemort tried to kill the Potters, but James defeated him! I need your help, James is dying!"_

_He was frozen to the spot. James and dying were never two words that he expected to hear in the same sentence. He remembered, when they would visit James in the hospital wing after particularly bad Quidditch games, that James would always brag that he was invincible._

_Maybe they were starting to believe that._

_"Moony, we don't have any time to waste! Get your werewolf butt here now! I can't stop the bleeding!"_

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**To be continued...**

**Author's Notes: Woo! Chapter three turned out to be a long one, didn't it? I know the story is moving along a little slow, but it'll get better, I swear! Anyway, I didn't expect this story to get such great results! Wow! Thanks for all the great reviews for chapter one! I loved them! Hopefully, these reviews will continue for the following chapters.**

**A Sirius Fan: I thought that James deserved a chance to go after the man who betrayed his family. Thanks.**

**Tracy: Thanks for the great reviews! Don't worry, I will update regularly.**

**Chris: The chances of this turning into a Harry/Ginny fic are nil. I don't write Harry/Ginny, sorry for the disappointment. I do, however, plan to write another fanfic that focuses more on James/Lily. This story doesn't go that deep into it, sorry. Thanks for the review, though!**

**angelkeety: Don't worry, you won't have to kill me. I will update regularly and definitely finish this as soon as I can. Thanks for the review!**


	3. Remember and Recover

_Pursuing Sanity_

_By: Max Pilote_

_Chapter Three: Remember and Recover_

The clouds floated lazily across the sky as midnight finally acme upon them. Sirius Black smiled softly as he watched Remus fall into a deep sleep against him. Guilt tugged at the edge of his soul, reaching its cold grip out to squeeze his heart whenever he would gaze upon the gentle wizard. Even though they had distanced themselves from one another, he still worried about Remus. When his mind wandered, it normally found itself thinking of the gentle Lupin all alone in a world that was far from kind.

He could see Remus, curled up at his cabin, cold and alone. Sirius could only imagine how hard it was for Remus to make ends meet, for no one would hire a werewolf.

Endless was his regret and shame. There were no words hidden deep within any of the languages spoken upon earth that could express how sorry Sirius was. He felt as though it was his fault. It felt like he was the one who had caused the current condition James was in. It felt as though he had wronged Remus is some way.

How could he have been so stupid? Why did they think that their dearest friend could possibly be the traitor?

Sirius mentally kicked himself. It had been the werewolf. Even after they had found out that Remus was a werewolf, they never rejected him. Instead, they went to great lengths, becoming animagi just to be with the poor boy while he was no longer himself. Remus had started to believe that the werewolf didn't matter to the Marauders.

Obviously, it meant something. It turned them against the very person who depended on them the most. Remus was right, as he always was. He could never escape the werewolf. Just when he thought the beast wasn't a problem, it came back and bit him.

Moony stirred slightly, but he did not wake. A soft smile played on his lips. Padfoot's gaze wandered to the bedridden James Potter.

How many things was he going to mess up? More importantly, how was he going to make things right? No matter what James and Remus said, it would never feel right to him. He had almost killed James and he hurt Remus in a way unimaginable.

Even if they forgave him, could he ever forgive himself?

Sirius looked to his discarded wand. He was going to destroy the entire cause of this horrible night. He was going to erase the existence of that dirty rat from the face of the earth.

Careful not to wake Remus as he stood up, Sirius grabbed his wand and coat. He scribbled a small note and decided to leave before he began to regret his decision. Whatever he was going to do, it had to be done now.

The storm that had been raging continued to tear through the town. Thunder roared, echoing the very anger that Sirius felt in his heart as he walked swiftly down the street. Lightning flashed, the brightness mirroring the radiance of the flame of revenge burning in his eyes. Nothing was going to stop him.

Peter was going to pay for what he had done.

**

* * *

**

Birds sang softly, praising the day as if it were the beginning of life. The sun shone softly into the room, casting a warm glow through the curtain and across the bed. James Potter opened his eyes, and smiled softly. For a while, he felt as though he might never see the sun again.

He turned his head to see Remus smiling softly at him. "I thought you might never wake up, it's almost four in the afternoon," remarked the werewolf with a smile. "Padfoot should come home in a few moments."

"He went to work?" question James. It was a Saturday. Sirius never worked on Saturdays.

"Not quite," replied Remus with a chuckle, "for he has gone to see Dumbledore and to tell Lily that you are doing quite well. She thought that you might have died. So, he shouldn't be that long."

The door to the house opened. "Speak of the devil," said James as Sirius came in. "Welcome home, Padfoot."

"You'll be very happy to know that Lily and Harry are unharmed, and that Lily is worried sick about you. She has also told me to tell you that she's going to kill you for scaring her like that," explained the reckless wizard. "Dumbledore says that as soon as you are well enough, you and your family can move back into your old house and settle down once more."

That was great news. For the past year, James remembered his life in the now destroyed Godric's Hollow. Every day had been spent living in fear. They went to sleep wondering if they would never wake up. They woke up wondering if today was the day that Voldemort would come. James remembered his regret and sorrow that he could not raise Harry in the same peace that his parents had been raised in. Instead, the poor child would have grown up in fear and worry.

The fear began to rule their lives. They couldn't leave the house, which made it very hard to know what had been going on out in the world around them. Even though it was stupid to be scared of that, they were scared to even be seen near the windows. This was pointless, for only one person knew their whereabouts. Only one person knew, and he betrayed them.

"What happened to Voldemort?" asked James with a frown.

Remus took a deep breath and looked at Sirius. Sirius cleared his throat, hesitating.

"James, you defeated him last night. We don't know how, but he's gone," admitted Sirius. "Remus thought it was best if we didn't mention it last night, because it might have sent you into shock."

Prongs simply stared at the two, bewildered and lost.

"What do you remember about last night? Anything at all?"

* * *

_October 31st, 1981_

_James smiled as he stood in the doorway of Harry's room, watching Lily dress the fussy infant for bed._

"_I don't know what's gotten into him," said Lily in exasperation. "He's been like this all day."_

_Her husband crossed the room and chuckled, "Let me help." James had a gift for making children laugh. It might have been attributed to the fact that sometimes, he was really a kid on the inside. He kept little Harry distracted will silly faces and noises while Lily put the baby in his pajamas._

_Once they were finished, she laid their precious child in his crib, tucking the blanket gently around him. As she watched Harry fall into a peaceful sleep, tears began to roll down her face._

"_Why?" she asked, turning to James. "Why does he have to grow up like this? Why does it have to be Harry? He's so young and innocent! He doesn't deserve this!"_

_As Lily threw her arms around her beloved, he gently stroked her hair. He spoke soothingly to her, trying to calm her down._

"_We can't control everything that happens," he explained, "and we aren't going to like everything that happens, either. We're just going to have to do our best to deal with it."_

"_I don't understand how you can be so brave," said his wife, looking up at him as tears fell rapidly from her bright green eyes. "You aren't even scared."_

"_That's not true," admitted James. "I am scared. I'm scared to death, but I know that being scared isn't going to help my family. Fear isn't going to protect you and Harry from Voldemort."_

_Lily kissed his softly and smiled. He had calmed her nerves for the time being._

"_We should not dwell on this," she suggested. "It is growing late."_

_James nodded and told her to go on up to bed. As he did every night, he checked the front door to make sure it was locked. It had become habit now, even though he knew it wouldn't stop Voldemort. A locked door never stopped Voldemort. It would stall him for mere second. Of course, in the event of Voldemort attacking, a few seconds could mean all the difference for Lily and Harry getting away._

_Everyday was spent in fear and worry. James always found himself wondering if that was the day he was going to make his last stand and sacrifice himself for his family._

_That was the plan. If Voldemort came, Lily was going to run with Harry, and James would do his best to keep the Dark Lord occupied._

_James looked out the window and expected to see the peaceful calm that night usually cast over Godric's Hollow. Instead, he saw a sight he had been dreading for the past year. He froze as he saw the dark figure moving down the walkway of Godric's Hollow. For months, they had been expecting this day, but he was still surprised. James grabbed his wand from the nearby table and stood in the doorway of the hallway._

"_Lily," he cried, "take Harry and run! Voldemort is here!"_

_Fear stabbed into Lily like a knife as she took Harry into her arms and grabbed the invisibility cloak from under his crib. She heard the front door shatter as Voldemort broke into the house, his wand pointed James's heart. The terrified mother threw the cloak over her child and herself, running to the family room._

_She froze when she saw James standing before Voldemort._

"_Move, boy, I want the child!" commanded the Dark Lord, glaring at the foolish wizard before him._

"_I will not let you lay a hand on my son!" yelled James defiantly. "He's too young to hurt you!"_

_Lily had long since run through the kitchen and out the backdoor. James, however, lured Voldemort to the hallway, standing in front of the door as if he were trying to keep the dark wizard out of it._

_The trap worked and he threw James through the door, the poor man coming to a skidding stop at the end of the hallway just in front of Harry's door. He forced himself back to his feet and pointed his wand at Voldemort._

"_Stop being foolish, Potter! This isn't one of your quidditch games. You can't fly away from me," taunted the Dark Lord. "Just step out of the way and let me kill the child!"_

"_As long as there is life in my body, you will never hurt my child! I will always be there to stop you!" yelled James angrily. "You are nothing but a coward and a murderer. You fight for no noble cause! If it means sacrificing myself, I will stop you! I destroy you!"_

_It was a brave thing for the wizard to say. His mind told him that he was being stupid and foolish. It told him that he was being an idiot for angering the man who wanted to destroy him. His heart, however, had a different idea. It was his heart that was driving him to believe that he could do it. He was going to defeat Voldemort._

_Any hope that he held, felt like it might shatter was Voldemort flung him through the door of Harry's bedroom, crushing the child's crib. The remnants of the baby's crib stabbed into his back, but he ignored it as he forced himself to his feet._

"_Where have you hidden the child? Where is he?" demanded Voldemort, glaring at the wizard before him. "You cannot protect him forever."_

"_You're wrong! I will always protect him. No one, not even you, can harm my son as long as I am alive."_

"_CRUCIO!"_

_The pain was immense, unimaginable. His knees buckled beneath him and he fell back to the floor. James Potter couldn't control his body as it twitched and jerked because of the great pain that ran through it. He cried out in pain. It was far greater than simply breaking an arm or taking a hit from the Whomping Willow. This could make any man plead for death._

"_If you will not willingly give me the information, I will force it out of you."_

_For several moments, seemingly an eternity, the spell took its toll on the helpless James. The wizard refused to falter. He was never going to betray his family. He would never do anything to hurt Lily or Harry. Not even the threat of death would make him a traitor._

_Then, the pain stopped. Forcing himself to his knees, James looked up at Voldemort, the bright fires of defiance and determination in his eyes. The Dark Lord had never had anyone stand up to him in such a way. Never had anyone say such things to him. Sure, they had come after him in groups, but no one had dared to stand up to him alone. No one person dared to come against him alone, stand strong through his torture, and still be able to look at him with that same defiance in his eyes._

_He had to put a stop to someone like this. If he allowed James to live, he would lead the others against him. They would follow this boy's example and they would unite against the Dark Lord._

"_You, boy, are a thorn in my side, a thorn that I am going to remove."_

_James frowned and took up his wand. If he didn't stop Voldemort here and now, then no one would. He would continue to hunt down Harry and Lily, killing everyone who dared stand in his way until it was just the frightened and distraught Lily Potter standing alone against him. Then, he would strike her down before murdering the helpless Harry. James couldn't allow that to happen. He couldn't let this reign of terror go on._

"_Expelliarmus!" he cried, and Voldemort's wand jumped from his hands. He caught it in his hand and snapped it in two. He raised his own wand and pointed it at Voldemort._

"_This is where your reign or fear and terror ends. This is the part in the story where I give you a taste of your own medicine. This is the curtain call, Voldemort. No one is going to fear you after this."_

* * *

The two faithful Marauders looked at James and blinked. "Your entire memory goes blank after that?" asked Remus.

"Well, up until Sirius picked me up," replied James as he stared down at his hands. "It sort of goes blank after that. I don't even know what happened or what I did...but it must have been something, because the house obviously collapsed."

Sirius laughed. Leave it to him to make a joke out of a serious moment. "That's our thick-headed Prongs, always forgetting things," he said jokingly, ruffling James's already mussed up hair.

The three laughed together. It had been such a long time since they had done that. Of course, when they had laughed together, there was always that fourth person there. That fourth person, however, was no longer a welcomed member into the Marauders.

When he betrayed the Potters, he dug his own grave and carved the tombstone for it.

Here lies Peter Pettigrew. A traitor and a rat.

* * *

Two weeks passed. In those two weeks, many Death Eaters were caught, James had recovered from his injuries, and the Potters were able to move back into their former home.

"James, will you hurry up! Sirius is here already!" shouted Lily from downstairs, holding the infant Harry in her arms as she sat with Sirius Black in the family room. "I am so sorry," she said to him with a frown. "He was up late with Harry last night."

Sirius smiled and gently tickled Harry, causing the baby to giggle. "You keeping your father up late on purpose?" he asked with a smile. James came down the stairs, taking his wand off the little table in the hall.

He kissed Lily gently, and then he kissed Harry on the forehead. "Okay, I'm ready," he said to Sirius. "Wish me luck."

Lily chuckled and tried to flatten down his hair, to no avail. "Just be careful," she said to him. "It hasn't been that long."

The two nodded and they left in a hurry. They were already late. Today was a big day for James. He was going to get his job back at the Ministry of Magic as an Auror, and the last thing he needed to do was be late.

They walked faster than normal. The brisk air blew against them and the golden brown leaves that had fallen from their trees crunched and cracked under their feet. Today was a most peaceful day. The joyous celebrations of the Dark Lord Voldemort's defeat were still continuing. It was indeed the start of a new era. A time of happiness and peace for muggles and wizards alike.

"Is Remus meeting us for lunch later?" asked James, trying to make a little conversation.

"Yeah, it'll give us a good chance to really apologize to him," replied Sirius with a frown. "Am I the only one who thinks we were extremely stupid for what we did?"

His friend shook his head and sighed heavily, "We're idiots."

They both nodded, agreeing with each other. James looked up at the sky and smiled softly, "We're just very lucky people that Moony is so forgiving. After all, he forgave you for what you did."

"That reminds me, you've got one killer of a right hook," said Sirius, changing the subject to a much happier one. James and Sirius had gotten into a small argument, which escalated to a fist fight.

"Didn't you break my nose in that fight?" asked Prongs with a smirk.

Padfoot returned the wicked smile, "That's okay, you broke three fingers on my left hand. Remember how we busted out laughing after the fight, nearly falling over each other."

They laughed, before realizing that they had reached the Ministry. James sighed heavily and took a deep breath. "Okay, this is it. I am the great James Potter and I can do anything," he said with a sigh.

"James, you defeated the Dark Lord. I'm pretty sure they'll let you become an Auror," said an exasperated Sirius and he pushed him through the door.

Inside, James shook the hand of the man meant to interview him.

"Ah, I recognize you! You're James Potter!" exclaimed the man with a smile. "It is a great honor to meet you, Mr. Potter. What brings you here?"

The wizard took a seat across from his interview and adjusted his glasses. "I want to return to my job here at the Ministry of Magic. I previously held the position of Auror until I had to hide," he explained. "I figured it was time that I got back to work and put some Death Eaters in Azkaban."

The man nodded and smiled at James. "Well, we could really use you on the force. Since you held the job before, you are obviously qualified. When can you start?"

Happiness overwhelmed James and he smiled brightly, "I can start whenever you want!"

"Very well then, you can start Friday."

Finally, James had picked up the pieces of his life and was putting them back together again.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Author's Notes: Thanks for the AMAZING reviews for chapter two. I seriously was not expecting this story to be this great, but when you put your heart into something, I suppose you always get the best results.**

**MoNiKa BaTcH: Wow, there's not much I can say to such a marvelous review like that. I guess I can describe a friendship like the one between Sirius and James because I am lucky enough to have friends as close to me as they were to each other. I really wrote this because it never sat well with me that the Potters died. I thought that it was time for a little change of pace (I write a lot of Lord of the Rings fanfictions). I hope you find that little something that will make your own fanfiction great! I can't wait to read it. Oh, and me the next J. K. Rowling? I actually do plan on pursuing a career in writing, definitely get a novel published. It's always been my dream, the greatest goal in my life. Thanks for the great review. I write these things for people like you who enjoy them so much. It makes me happy when someone loves the story as much as you do.**

**athenakitty: Well, as you can see from Chapter Three, Sirius decided to take a different approach than running out the front door. As for James and his family ever being reunited, you'll just have to see.**

**Cine: Thanks for the review. Don't worry, I'll try to update on a regular basis. Seeing as though I've been updating everyday now.**

**Tracy: I've worked out my snag and I'll be updating my other HP fic as soon as possible. Don't worry!**

**Corky: You're such an ass sometimes, Remy. Makin' me feel bad an' all.**


	4. Vengeful Laughter

_Pursuing Sanity_

_By: Max Pilote_

_Chapter Four: Vengeful Laughter_

"Has anyone seen Pettigrew anywhere?"

"Sorry, Sirius, no word yet. Why are you looking for him so bad?"

"Umm...I want to pay him back for something he did. I just need to get it off my chest."

How could they have not found him yet? Of course, the rat had gone into hiding. Sirius smirked inwardly. There was a part of him that wanted Peter to run, because it loved the chase. It wanted Peter to be scared, because it loved the smell of fear.

He returned to where he had been waiting for Prongs, who had already come out of his interview.

"So, what's the verdict?" he asked.

James smiled brightly, his hazel eyes twinkling behind his glasses. "I get my job back! I can start Friday!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms around Padfoot. In the past, Sirius would have been a little unnerved by these sudden displays of emotion and affection from his old friend, but ever since the fight with Voldemort...

"What do you say we celebrate? Let's go get Remus and have some ice cream," suggested Sirius with a smile.

"That's a great idea!"

In the past two weeks, Remus had moved in with Sirius. He hadn't actually agreed to it. He came home one day and most of things were gone with a note on top of the fire place.

"Moony, your cabin is a dump! And it's cold as hell in there, too. So, I took the liberty of moving all your things into my house where you will be living from now on. Yours truly, Padfoot."

Remus laughed when he saw it, but was also a little aggravated. Still, it was Sirius. When befriending Sirius Black, you had to expect those kind of things.

He knew the hidden reasons behind it, though. Both Sirius and James were feeling very guilty about accusing Remus of being the spy. Thus, it was Padfoot's bright idea that it would make his werewolf friend very happy if he could move back in the apartment. Also, it was very difficult for Lupin to keep a job, seeing as though he was a werewolf. So, he had a lot of trouble making ends meet.

"Come on," insisted Sirius, his beautiful eyes staring at Remus, "you can live here and let me support you, or you can go back to your shack and freeze your ass off."

As always, Sirius Black was very persuasive. He put up a good argument and Remus bought it. So, for the past week and a half, he had taken up residence in the small apartment of Sirius Black. A few enlargement charms had to be put on the place to make room for the werewolf, but it was a small annoyance. Sirius seemed to really enjoy living with Remus, and the werewolf had no complaints about it either.

As his friends entered, Remus abandoned his writing. He looked to them and smiled softly.

"Good news, I hope," he said to them.

James nodded, happier than he had been since he had been reunited with Lily and Harry. "I am now an Auror at the Ministry of Magic!" he announced proudly. "They let me have my job back!"

Sirius chuckled as he took Remus's beat up coat off the coat rack and handed it to him. "We're celebrating with ice cream," he said, as if it were some holy decree.

Taking his coat, Remus laughed at the both of them. "You two are extremely energetic today," he replied. "I dare to ask what has gotten into you."

The two looked at each other and shrugged. It was just a day to be happy.

Sirius, however, still had his own worries. It had been two weeks, and certainly enough time for Peter to get away from them. Indeed, he'd be hiding, fearing the wrath he might have incurred when he betrayed the one who had placed so much trust in him.

He looked sideways at James and decided that it hadn't been as bad as it could have been. Prongs could have died. There was also the possibility that they might lose him a different way, that the fight would leave him a shell of his former self. So many different possibilities could have come out of that horrible nightmare.

As Sirius gazed upon the two friends talking, he smiled softly. None of that actually mattered to him at that moment. If felt like they were just walking down the street like they had before James went into hiding, before they thought Remus was the spy, and before Peter betrayed him.

A frown replaced his smile as he thought of that name and the person it belonged to. Just when he was happy, he had to bring that little bastard up. His fist clenched tightly in anger. As his grey eyes glared down at the pavement below him.

James looked at him and frowned, "Siri? What's wrong?"

"Huh?" asked Sirius as he was brought out of his angry thoughts. "Oh, I'm fine. Really, Jamie."

He turned his gaze back towards the ground. 'Right, everything is fine, Jamie. I don't care that I almost killed you. I don't care that all of this is my fault. I don't care that I can't make everything right,' he thought, bitterly sarcastic as he scolded himself silently. Everyday he thought about it, he sank deeper into it. If he didn't do something soon, it would consume him.

When Remus looked at the frowning Padfoot, however, he knew. He wasn't oblivious as James was. He knew what was eating away at Padfoot. While he felt a pang of sorrow for the wizard, it also made him frustrated that Sirius refused to listen to him.

'There is just no reasoning with that fool,' thought Remus bitterly, though he continued his jovial conversation with James. Neither of them wanted to worry their friend. The last thing James needed to worry about was Pettigrew.

"So, shall we head to Diagon Alley? I don't think we've been there since seventh year," said Sirius with a chuckle

"Ah, the grand memories of our last great year at Hogwarts," mused Prongs, smiling softly. "Then again, most of our memories at Hogwarts are good ones."

Remus chuckled, "Most of them."

Of course, there were always a few memories that they were careful to encroach upon. As few as these were, they were still sensitive subjects.

The three stopped at the corner, waiting to cross the street so they could make their way to the Leaky Cauldron. Sirius had his back turned to the road, seeing as though the light was taking forever. Muggles and their horrible traffic laws. He began to count the people as they walked by, noting their appearances for absolutely no reason.

The first to pass was a woman. She was rather tall and wore a long overcoat that was a horrid shade of brown. It made Sirius a little sick to look at. The second was a shorter woman, but skinny. This made her look like a rather sickly woman, with an odd hat. Feathers stuck out of it in every which direction.

The third person who passed was the most interesting character that passed. He was a rather short, round man. His hair was sort of colorless, so blond that it was almost white.

It nearly knocked him off his feet. Remus and James turned as Sirius started running after the man.

"Come back here, Wormtail!" he yelled angrily.

The man looked at him briefly and continued to run, panicking. People dove out of the way as Sirius raced after the chubby little man. James and Remus rushed after him, shouting at him.

"Sirius! What the hell are you doing?" demanded James.

"You get your ass back here, coward!" screamed Sirius.

He suddenly caught up to the man and turned him around, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and lifting him off the ground.

"YOU DIRTY LITT—"

This man wasn't the one he thought he was chasing. It was Peter.

Slowly, he placed the chubby man on the ground and watched as he ran away. He sank back against the wall instead of going off to find James and Remus. He knew they would come soon.

"Speak of the devil," he muttered as the two came into the alley.

"The hell has gotten into you?" asked James with a frown as he came to stand beside the young man he considered to be his brother. "You've been acting weird lately. While we expect these random acts of violence form you, it seemed a little out of place today."

Padfoot shook his head and frowned, "I don't feel like myself."

Remus growled low in his throat, "I know what's gotten into the bastard." He was tired of putting up with that kind of crap from Sirius. The werewolf had spent that past week and a half watching one of his closest friends descend slowly into madness. Now, there was no way he was just going to stand by and not say anything.

"You have got to stop doing this to yourself," he said to Sirius with a frown. "You're driving yourself and the rest of us insane."

"I'm not doing anything to myself or anyone," replied the stubborn Sirius, looking away from the two of them.

"Damnit, Sirius!" exclaimed Remus in defeat. "You're just a stubborn son a bitch, you know that? I'm trying to stop you from making what could possibly be the biggest mistake of your life!"

"It's a bit too late for that, Moony!" By now, people had started gathering at the entrance of the alleyway, intrigued by the two screaming men. "I was the one who suggested that Wormtail be the secret-keeper! It was all my fault and now I have to fix it!"

"I warned you, Sirius! I told you that if you didn't let it go, it would eat away at you until you were nothing, a shell of your former self! Do you want that Sirius? Do you want the guilt to consume you? Do you want it to control you?"

"If I don't kill Peter, then the guilt will consume me! The guilt will kill me!"

The werewolf shook his head in disappointment before turning his angered glared back on Sirius. "The world works in a certain and mysterious way, Sirius. Eventually, Peter will get what he deserves," he explained.

James looked at the two of them and frowned. While he was not completely lost, he was slightly confused.

"He trusted me, Remus! James trusted me to make the right decision! I let him down, Moony! Prongs almost died because of my stupid decisions! I chose him! I chose Peter to be the secret-keeper and he sold the Potters to Voldemort!"

"I'm going home." No one noticed James speak over the two arguing wizards. He pushed through the crowd and started the slow walk back to his house.

A heavy weight laid on his heart. Why did he feel like that entire argument was his fault? Why did it feel like he had done something wrong? He shook his head and sighed heavily. For a while, he could still hear the two yelling at each other. Then, it faded away, blending with the noise of the crowded street. His mind was settled for that moment while he continued to walk home.

There were just too many things in his own mind to worry about what was happening with Moony and Padfoot. Besides, it was probably just something that would clear up within a day or so. Wasn't it usually something small?

He shook his head and sighed. Sleep was not a common thing for him anymore. Terrible nightmares had been jarring him from his peaceful slumbers each night. Since it was a common occurrence, though, James was able to adjust to the lack of sleep. Apparently, this morning that ability had failed him, for he had overslept.

It wasn't the fact that he wasn't getting sleep that worried him, though. Sleep was really a loose term to him since school after so many late nights writing essays and studying to particularly hard tests. Even late night pranks accustomed his body to a very sporadic sleeping schedule for a while. Thus, it didn't worry him as much as it might have.

The content of the nightmares is what worried him the most. It was always the same nightmare. The exact same sequence of events would plague his dreams night after night. The same villain would tear apart his life before he would wake up to find it all to be a terrible dream again.

Every single night, Voldemort would terrorize his dreams. He would watch helplessly as the Dark Wizard stormed into Godric's Hollow and tear apart his family. First, he would jump at the murderer, trying to stop him, but he would pass right through him. He felt utterly helpless as Sirius would come in, fearing for the life of his friends only to find Voldemort waiting for him when he entered the home. He screamed at Padfoot to turn around. He warned him not to enter the house. Sadly, James would watch once more as Padfoot's body fell gracefully to the ground following the green flash emitted form the end of Voldemort's wand, an expression of shock and fear permanently on his face. Remus would follow in shortly after. Every night, his gaze would go from the lifeless Sirius Black laying in the doorway to the very real Voldemort. He would draw his wand to defend himself, but it would be too late. As Sirius fell, so would he, their faces sharing the same look.

James would turn and yell at Lily. He would tell her to take Harry and run. Realization followed the sentence shortly after. She couldn't hear him. Just as Sirius and Remus hadn't heard him when he shouted the warning at them, she couldn't hear his desperate pleas either. Voldemort would ascend the stairs and James would throw himself in front of the doorway to stop the Dark Lord from entering his son's bedroom where his wife and child sat huddled in the corner. Lily would look up at the murderer with her bright green eyes and she would plead for him to spare her son, to take her life but spare the life of her precious angel. They trembled from fear, as if they expected the husband, the father to burst into the room at any moment and rescue them. No one came to their rescue, though. As the green light of death burst from the end of the Dark Lord's wand, James felt his heart tear into pieces.

Then, the Dark Lord would turn to him.

"You failed," he repeated. "You've failed your friends and your family. Do you think they'll ever forgive you?"

Once more, he would wake up, a cold sweat forming on his brow. Every night that dream came, and every night all the people that James cared about the most would die.

It was an endless cycle of death, and James feared that it would throw him into madness.

* * *

Remus was a fool. So Sirius thought as he walked away from the werewolf, heading anywhere as long as it would take his away from the aura left from the heated argument he had just left.

Was it really an obsession? Was the need for revenge going to drive him to the edge of sanity...or over it?

Nonsense. It was all rubbish. Sirius Black was never obsessed with anything. That's just not something he did.

Of course, Sirius Black never made dire mistakes that nearly killed his dearest friends. That had proved to be a very wrong statement.

With a heavy sigh, Sirius crossed the street and continued walking. A good walk would clear his head. After all, he lived with Remus. The tension if he ever went home would probably suffocate him. There were several hotels in the city. As the frustrated wizard contemplated the thought of going home that night, a sight caught his eye that was unmistakeable.

Sirius watched as a rat scurried unnoticed down the street, weaving in out of the pedestrians' legs. He had seen that rat far too many times to mistake that for anyone else. Bringing traffic to a screeching halt, the impulsive wizard darted across the road. When he reached the other side of the street, he noticed the rat was panicking.

He followed it into a nearby alley and drew his wand.

"Give it up, Wormtail! You can't run forever," exclaimed Sirius as he brandished his wand threateningly. "You're going to pay for what you did!"

This was the moment he had been waiting for. This was going to make everything right again. If he could just erase Pettigrew from existence, he could erase all the reminders of his horrible mistakes and the terrifying memories that plagued Prongs.

As the rat transformed into the traitor Peter Pettigrew, Sirius felt the world around them stop. He looked down at the short, round man. Wormtail had changed a lot since the last time any of the Marauders had seen him. Since he would be as old as the other Marauders, he could only be twenty like the rest of them. Looking at him, however, someone would have guessed him to be in his early thirties. The hair he had once had, so blond that it was almost colorless, was actually thinning and falling out. This was most likely due to the stress of living in constant fear.

He was right to be scared. The smartest thing he had ever done, or so Sirius thought, was run after he had betrayed the Potters. If being a Marauder should have taught him anything, it should have taught him that you never go against a Marauder unless you can handle the revenge.

As time slowed to a crawl and Sirius stared down at Peter, a wicked smirk formed on his face. Revenge was right.

"Sirius, it's good to see you old friend," said Peter, his voice nervous and shaking.

"Don't even dare speak that word to me again, you traitor! Did you really expect that you could do what you did and still expect to call me friend? What kind of fool do you take me for, rat?" yelled Sirius. It enraged him that such a foul creature could use the word 'friend' so loosely, as if it were some common term used to address simply anyone.

Sirius only had few who considered friends. They were the ones he was closest to. They were the people that he would go to the ends of the earth for.

Peter was not one of those people. There were no words within any language that could even begin to describe Sirius's hatred for such the beast that he saw before him.

There would be no mercy for rats.

Wormtail knew this. He looked at Sirius and he saw the grim, the large black dog that was his former friend's animagus form. He saw only death when he looked into the grey eyes of Sirius Black.

Fear struck him, and he became desperate. It wasn't death that Peter was so scared of. It was the wrath he had incurred. Sirius wasn't going to grant him a merciful and painless death. No, he was going to make sure that he suffered for what he had done.

Padfoot raised his wand and pointed it at Peter's heart.

Desperation rose within the intended victim. He knew that if he didn't do something fast, this would be the end. Peter's eyes darted around and he noticed there were people gathered at the bus stop. He had never been particularly smart, but he head learned a thing or two from his school years.

"How could you, Sirius?" screamed Peter. The people passing by couldn't help but stop and look at the two. "James Potter trusted you to be his secret-keeper and you sold him out to You Know Who!"

Sirius was too shocked by his words to notice that Peter had his wand behind his back. He was too shocked to even ponder what Peter was thinking.

The shock was not because Peter had the nerve to accuse him of such a thing. The shock came because of how true Sirius felt it was. In a way, he had betrayed James. His spiritual twin had trusted him to make the right decision. He had trusted his judgement and it nearly got him killed.

Anger followed. How dare that traitor have the nerve to accuse him of such a horrible act!

Before he could act, however, Peter seemingly exploded. Dust and debris flew everywhere as the ground below his feet began to shake and rumble. The concrete pavement cracked as the ground opened up. Sirius watched in awe as the great earth swallowed the innocent bystanders. He turned back and saw the only thing left of Peter. He crossed the alley and stood there, looking down at the severed finger.

People stared in shock and astonishment at the tragedy that had unfolded before them. The muggles couldn't explain what had just happened.

Sirius knew. It burst from him, and he couldn't stop it. The shock wore away and the bystanders were now watching the seemingly deranged wizard as he started laughing.

He continued laughing...even after the officials from the Ministry of Magic appeared on the scene.

* * *

That argument had been a horrible one, but was it enough to drive Sirius from home? Remus frowned as he paced the floor in the small living room. He was worried. Sirius hadn't returned home. Of course, Sirius could take care of himself. He felt guilty, though. Part of Lupin wished that he wasn't so hard on Sirius.

With a sigh of defeat, he collapsed in the chair in front of the fire. That's when he noticed for the first time that James had been watching him.

"What are you doing?" he asked with a frown.

James sighed, "You haven't heard yet?"

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Author's Notes: Well, this one was a long one. Little nasty twist there, eh? Anyways, thanks to both of my reviewers for those great reviews.**

**athenakitty: Well, actually, none of those questions were answered, but I hope the chapter makes up for it.**

**brennqt13: Wow, I'm glad that I rock. Thanks!**


	5. A Family for Comfort

_Pursuing Sanity_

_By: Max Pilote_

_Chapter Five – A Family for Comfort_

November 14, 1986

James pulled his knees to his chest as he finally caught his breath. The world faded in from black and the scenery came back to him. Staring up at the skies, he saw the clouds float overhead and couldn't help but feel they were mocking him, laughing at his recent failures. He looked from the sky to his discarded wand, and then back to the sky. What happened? Why had he done that?

He removed his glasses and cleaned them on his robes before placing them back on his face. It was a nervous habit he had developed from his school years, just as he ran his hands through his hair when Lily was near. It seemed a silly thing to do now, though, because Lily was his wife. They even had a son. He didn't have to do anything to get Lily's attention. She just gave it to him.

His thoughts were dragged back to his current predicament as a woman came into the alley, staring down at James.

"You let him get away?" she demanded.

The shaken wizard rolled his eyes and muttered a few curses under his breath as got his feet, picking up his discarded wand.

"Yes, I even gave him a boost over the wall," he replied sarcastically.

He sighed heavily and checked his watch. It was ten in the morning. Only an hour into the workday, he had already screwed up.

"James, go home and get some rest. We've got enough people working," she said to him, trying to make it sound like he wasn't really needed. It was a lie, though. They were always a little shorthanded when it came to fighting the Dark Arts these days. Of course, they weren't as much of a threat as they had been when Voldemort was in power. They were more of an annoyance now, all these people trying to bring their Dark Lord back.

He laughed softly at himself as he placed the cardboard box on his desk. It had still been there under the desk since the last time he had left work. That time he had a decent reason. He was forced to go into hiding because Voldemort was after him. This time, he had no such reason. The only reason he had was that he was slowly going insane.

After gathering the last of his things, James Potter held the box in his arms as he decided to walk the distance home. Dumbledore had opted to rebuild the ruined Godric's Hollow for the Potters. James said that he could build it, but they weren't moving back in there. There were too many reminders as it was. October 31st had become a holiday among wizards, a day to celebrate the defeat of the Dark Lord.

Of course, this year had been Harry's first Halloween that he was old enough to go trick-or-treating with some of his little muggle friends who lived in the neighborhood. His father was very thankful for Halloween's tradition of wearing costumes. This kept his identity a mystery to most people; meaning that no one would recognize him as the man who defeated Voldemort five years ago.

The title wasn't one he celebrated, actually. Everyone was always so happy about it. They treated him like a celebrity. The whole night had been a heavy weight on James's mind, though, and it wasn't gone. He still had nightmares and he still felt the pain of Cruciatus curse when he would remember. Remus had told him five years ago that it would go away. He said that it was probably just a phase. Well, it was a pretty long damn phase.

"James, can I see you in my office for a few moments?"

He turned and saw Fudge standing there. James nodded and followed the Minister of Magic into his large office. It felt cold, rather than cozy. There were different pictures of the previous ministers staring down at him as he crossed the large stone room and sat in the chair across the desk from Fudge.

'When was the last time I had been in this office?' he thought silently to himself as Fudge began talking.

* * *

_November 14, 1981_

_The flame turned green and jumped from the fireplace as a rather tall figure stumbled out of it. Brushing off his robes, he looked down at Remus._

"_Come on, we have to get to the Ministry of Magic, right now!" he said urgently, grabbing Remus's arm and pulling him out of his chair._

"_What the hell are you talking about?" demanded the werewolf as he was dragged to his feet. "What news was I supposed to hear?"_

"_You'll find out at the Ministry! Come on, damnit!" he exclaimed angrily. With a pop, he disappeared, apparating to the Ministry. Lupin knew he had no other choice. He sighed heavily and followed suit._

_Fudge looked up as he saw the two wizards appear in his office. "Why, Mr. Potter, this is certainly an unexpected visit. What is the purpose of such a spontaneous action?" he asked, looking up from the papers on his desk._

"_You can't just put Sirius in Azkaban like that!" cried James. "For life? What were you thinking?"_

_Fudge sighed heavily, "Of course, I should have expected this. James, why do you still trust Sirius so much if he betrayed you?"_

"_He wasn't my secret-keeper! Peter Pettigrew was! If anyone deserves life in Azkaban, it's that chubby bastard!" retorted the already enraged wizard._

_Anger and rage, confusion and bewilderment, but also with surprise. These little emotions ran rampant in the room as the three stood there. It seemed the temperature rose as the tensions did. This was actually the first time Remus has heard anything about this. It explained why Sirius didn't come home. It was hardly a surprise, though. He had been expecting the brash young wizard to go over the deep end soon. What he didn't expect, however, was how bad it would be. Fourteen people? Was Sirius even capable of that?_

_He shook his head. Of course Sirius was capable of that. He spent most of his school days just pissing off the Slytherins. Other times, he got into duels or fist fights. Somewhere within Sirius, his loyalty to his friend was somehow connected to violence._

"_You know as well as I do that Sirius Black was sent to Azkaban for the murder of Peter Pettigrew and thirteen others. Him not being the secret-keeper doesn't change the fact that he murdered fourteen people," stated Fudge matter-of-factly._

_James turned to Remus, searching for some form of aid. Lupin shook his head, sensing what James needed. He wasn't going to give it to him, however._

"_Actually, I do not believe that Sirius is incapable of such an act," he said bluntly, frowning at the glare he received from his friend. "You, too, have noticed the way that he has been acting lately. He even chased that poor guy down the street. I am sorry, but I will not vouch for innocence that he does not posses."_

* * *

"Mr. Potter, are you listening to me?"

James turned his eyes and stared at Fudge. "Oh, I'm sorry, I got distracted for a moment," he admitted with a frown.

"That is precisely why I asked you in here, James," said Fudge, using his employee's first name as a way to signify that he was speaking with him on the level of a friend. If he were in a better mood, the Auror would have laughed. He wasn't a friend of Fudge, and he didn't take a particular liking to him. "Many of your fellow co-workers are complaining about your lack of enthusiasm in your work."

"That's ridiculous," replied James with a frown. "I happen to pour a lot of effort into my work."

"Yes, I do agree with that, but there is also the issue of your recent panic attacks," continued the Minister of Magic. "There have been several reported incidents where you have either collapsed on the field or attacked one of your co-workers. It is has been decided that you are not only a danger to your co-workers, but you are also a danger to yourself and the citizens you are trying to protect. Thus, we are placing you on a paid leave. You can return once you have been evaluated by a therapist that I assign to you."

There was silence for a few moments. Normally, the impulsive young wizard would have protested or argued with his superior. Instead, he simply took his advice in stride. It wasn't as if he were the first person to tell James that he could use some sort of psychiatric help. Several people had already done so, including his own wife.

At least it wasn't fired. It felt like fired, though. James frowned as he picked up his box and began the long journey home.

* * *

"How was work?" asked Lily with a frown as she watched her husband come in the door. It was agreed that she would stay home and take care of Harry until he was old enough to go to Hogwarts. She didn't loathe the idea. In fact, she loved it. It gave her the entire day to spend with her son. How could she hate that idea?

Her husband didn't respond as he put the box containing his personal belongings down and sighed heavily. Silence hung heavily in the room as he crossed to the fireplace and put it out before sitting on the couch.

"Sweetheart?" she asked softly as she sat beside him, placing her hands gently on his knee for comfort. Several more moments of silence followed after, so she moved her hands from his knee and slipped her arms around him, leaning her head softly on his chest.

A smile crossed James's face as his hand began to gently stroke the beautiful red hair of his wife. "You look beautiful," he whispered to her. He wasn't sure if he said it to change the subject or if he said it because it was true. It was most likely the latter. There was no reason for either lover to hide anything from their significant other.

"So you said this morning," replied Lily with a smile, bringing her head up and kissing his cheek softly. "Now, what is bothering you, dear?"

She would be understanding, wouldn't she? James nodded silently to himself. Of course she would be understanding. This made it a little easier for him to tell her.

"They fired me," he said to her. "Well, it wasn't actually fired. Fudge said that I couldn't return until after he had a therapist evaluate my current mental state."

"But you were doing so good," said his loving wife. "It had been weeks since your last panic attack. Oh, dear, did you have another one this morning?"

His head dropped to her shoulder softly and she felt his chest against hers as he sighed heavily. That was a positive and frightful answer. She kissed his forehead softly and gently caressing his back and shoulders.

"I had one this morning," admitted James. "I collapsed again, and he got away."

As Fudge had indicated, that had not been the very first time that had happened. It was merely the first time in a long while. The last one had been several months before that day. James had apparated into the house, shaking and trembling as if he were freezing cold. That was a ridiculous notion, seeing as though it was the end of spring and beginning of summer. Lily had never learned what had provoked the attack, but she knew that it took her nearly two hours to calm the shaking wizard down. After that, it was decided that they not mention it. It was added to the list of many things they never talked about.

It had been just two years after the fall of Voldemort. People were still not ready to forget about it, and James was more than ready to put it behind him. There were always visitors to the house and people were always coming up to James on the street, asking if they could see his scars or get his autograph.

The couple decided that he was in dire need of a safe haven that he could go to where he was treated just as he always had been, a place where James could go when he didn't want to remember Halloween. So, there were rules established in their home.

No strangers as visitors. Lily had informed all of their friends that if they wanted to come visit, they could come by floo powder or apparate. Remus was the only one who ever visited on a regular basis. He was there to play with Harry, filling in the role of godfather while Sirius was in Azkaban. James enjoyed having Remus as a guest, for the werewolf treated him as if he were no different than anyone else. He still treated James the same way he had when they went to school together.

The second rule was that no one was to mention anything related to Voldemort, Death Eaters, or Peter Pettigrew. The latter was the most important, for it served only to enrage James and send him into his own little world. Lily couldn't blame him. She had grown to like Peter as one of her own friends when she began to date James. The concept that anyone was capable of such a deep betrayal was something she would never be able to fully grasp.

Thus, she removed nearly everything that had to do with the former Marauder from the house. Each of the Marauders gave Harry a toy when he was born, but James saw that the mouse Harry had received was burned in the fire. The only things that hadn't been removed were the pictures that had him in it. Not only were they far too numerous, but James had stated that he liked to remember the times when he was blissfully unaware of the worries around him.

The last rule was that James was to be treated as if he was a normal person. He wasn't that powerful and he wasn't as great as everyone made him out to be.

"Maybe you should go lay down," suggested his loving wife as she kissed his cheek, breaking the long silence between them. "Be quiet, though, for Harry is sleeping."

"Since when did Harry take naps in the middle of the day?" asked James with a smile as he stood up.

"Since I started taking Harry to play on his broomstick," she said with a chuckle. "The poor child tired himself out. After lunch, I cleaned him up and brought him up to bed."

James nodded, "I think I'm going to follow his example. Up to bed!" His rather playful nature and cheerful mood was returning. Lily smiled softly and kissed his cheek.

"Didn't I tell you to be quiet?"

The wizard smiled and removed his shoes so he wouldn't make any noise when he went up the stairs. Quietly, though Lily might have hit him, he peered into his sleeping son's bedroom.

The walls were painted as if the room was a quidditch pitch. One wall had the goal posts on them, as did the opposite wall. The other two walls had the bleachers painted where the spectators sat. The ceiling changed colors according to the time day. James had done so much to make this room special. Sometimes, the seeker painted on the ceiling would chase the snitch, catch it, and then disappear. It was on Harry's command, so that the little boy would always be entertained.

The loving father smiled as he silently crossed the room. Gently, he tucked the blanket (a blue sky decorated with golden snitches and broomsticks) around his five year old. Harry was such a beautiful child. Of course, he had inherited the Potter family curse of the most unruly hair in the world. It was the same get black as his father's and it would never be tamed. The little boy's glasses sat on the nightstand next to his bed. He had wanted to be like his father, and he still did. Therefore, he had the same black frames that his own father wore. There was also a bit of his mother in him as well. He had her beautiful green eyes and a bit of her common sense.

It would be a disaster if he turned out to be exactly like James.

Placing a soft kiss on the child's forehead, James realized how lucky he was that his family was alive. The smile on his face grew slightly, "I love you, Harry."

Harry smiled in his sleep and replied, as if James had spoken in his dream as well; "I love you, too, Daddy."

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Author's Notes: I know, I know, that was a rather boring and uneventful chapter. Chapter six is going to be much more fun, though! It includes James's first therapy session, letters to Padfoot, more family fluff, and a very angry and disgruntled group of Marauders.**

**If you didn't catch it this time, yes, Sirius is in Azkaban. Sorry guys, but you will soon understand the madness behind this crazy author's thinking. Now, I'm not sure how many people Sirius killed because I just really don't have the time to look it up and I lost the third book. It's buried wherever my Lord of the Rings collection is. Jeez, I can't find anything! So, if I'm wrong (because it might have been thirteen people including Pettigrew or some other number) please just refrain from telling me that. It's a fanfiction. So, since I am allowed to change most of what I want, I will say that he killed fourteen people. And if you are so dissatisfied with it, you can (a) use your imagination and pretend it's the right number or (b) you can e-mail me at the e-mail address stated in the first chapter (or simply in your review) and I will e-mail you a correct copy of this chapter.**

**Thanks for the review for chapter four!**

**brennqt14: Sorry to horribly disappoint you, but Sirius is not going to get out of Azkaban earlier than he has. Please don't let that discourage you from reading the fic. After all, with James around, he does have a hell of an easier time trying to kill Peter and great fun doing it.**

**Chapter six is coming very quickly after this chapter. I feel that it s my duty because of the fact that this chapter was really sort of a break period for me. Thus, to make this up to my faithful readers (even if they are few), I will probably post chapter six sometime between Saturday and Monday.**


	6. Good News

**

* * *

A/N: Super time jumps in this one, but please hang in there. I'm trying to move this story along a little while trying to keep a decent pace. It's hard, people. Very hard. This chapter is mostly a series of letters written to Sirius, though. There are a few scenes here and there. Basically, the next 8 years that pass are described in the letter that James and Harry write to Sirius while he is cut off from the outside world.**

_Pursuing Sanity_

_By: Max Pilote_

_Chapter Six – Good News_

It was cold, but it was always cold. Every morning, Sirius went to sleep freezing and woke up freezing. The stone walls did nothing to help his mood, for he seemed to always be in a slump these days. Of course, it was no wonder. He was in Azkaban after all.

He hadn't gone completely over the deep end, yet. This was due to the fact that he was an animagus. When James had suggested them doing it so that they could help Remus, Sirius never expected that it would be the only thing keeping him from crossing the line to insanity.

It didn't help that he was nearly cut off from the outside world. There was never anyone to have a decent conversation with. Dementors would pass by from time to time, and people would scream and wail. Most of the prisoners had become completely insane. It was said that hardly anyone lasted a week in Azkaban.

Six years had passed since Pettigrew had faked his own death and blamed everything on Sirius. Since then, he was far behind in current events. Periodically he would receive the paper. Most of his knowledge, however, was limited to what James told him in the semi-monthly letters.

One hadn't come for November, but it was now December and he had just received his letter from James. It was only a few days after Christmas, and he had been longing to hear from his friend. Curled up as Padfoot, the dog sat in the back of his cell and read over the letter.

* * *

_December 1986_

_Dear Padfoot,_

_Happy Christmas from the Potter family! Harry says that his Happy Christmas is bigger than ours because he loves you the most. So, instead of arguing with him, I shall simply agree. He thanks you for telling Santa Claus to bring him that stuffed dog. I know that you really didn't do it. I saw it and I realized that it was something Sirius Black might get for his godson. Thus, I simply said it was from you. I won't have my child growing up thinking that his godfather is a murderer. I know you didn't do it._

_So sorry that I didn't write to you last month. A lot happened._

_I sort of got fired. At first it was suspension, but Fudge thinks its best if I pursue another career for a while. The panic attacks that I told you about before...they came back. Thus, the Ministry labeled me a danger to myself and others._

_Fudge sent me to a therapist, and it was his opinion that I distance myself from a career that involves anything reminding me of Voldemort or the Dark Arts and take up a more calm and passive trade._

_I am now the newest Chaser for the England Quidditch team! Once again, I am back in the air. It's amazing, just like I remember it._

_Fudge says that I am well on my way to joining you in that horrid prison. I went today, like I do every month, and asked him if he could let you out of Azkaban. He said that if I asked him again, he'd see to it that I was put in there with you. Therefore, I'm going to go back tomorrow and remind him. If I get thrown into Azkaban, we can escape together! We're an unstoppable duo._

_Enough about my horribly boring life. Poor Remus. He got fired from another job. Missed too many days of work, he did. I think he's going to try and write a book. This better be Remus's break. He's having a hard time on his own, and I'm trying to help him. If I still worked for the Ministry, I could ask Fudge to give him a desk job so I could keep an eye on him. Oh well, you know what they say. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you, eh?_

_Lily once again bids hello to you. She wishes that she could send you some of her cookies, but they wouldn't let her. I wasn't aware that you could use cookies to escape, but you were capable of anything. She also tells you Happy Christmas and gives you a kiss on the cheek._

_However, you better not be getting any smart ideas about that! Remember that Lily's mine and I'll still kick your ass if you try and take her from me._

_Smile,_

_Prongs_

* * *

Lily chuckled as she served her family breakfast. Normally, it was James's job to make breakfast, but she decided to give him a break.

"When is your therapy session this morning?" she asked him softly.

He stopped in mid-bite and gave her a withering glance. "Before quidditch practice," he replied. It had been three months since he was suspended from the Ministry, but he wasn't doing too bad for himself.

"I didn't know they even took players on in the middle of the season," she replied, sitting down to help Harry. "Or are you just a replacement."

"Yes and no," explained James. "Their Chaser has some family issues and they aren't sure if he's returning for the rest of the season. Thus, they asked me."

Harry smiled, "Are you gonna score a goal for me at your next game?"

His father smiled down at him. "Of course, Harry, every goal I score is going to be for you," he replied, ruffling his son's messy hair. "Great breakfast, Lily, but I have to go."

"Please don't hex the man," pleaded Lily jokingly. "It won't do you any good when you go to get your job back from Fudge."

Her husband let out an indignant huff and put on his coat. Stuffing his wand in his pocket, he kissed Lily softly before give Harry a high-five.

"I'll be back later tonight," said James. He left quickly.

The psychiatrist Fudge had assigned him (or recommended as he kindly put it) lived in a muggle community, running a small office out of his home.

For some reason, it reminded him of the common room when he would be alone with Remus. There were bookshelves on the walls lined with books about the human mind, written my muggles and the magic folk alike. He frowned as he crossed the room and sat down in one of the large chairs by the coffee table in the middle of the room. The pictures on the walls stared at him as he waited patiently for the doctor.

The door creaked open and a man stepped in. "James Potter?" he asked as he stood there with a notepad tucked under his arm and a pen tucked behind his ear.

* * *

February 1987 

_Dear Padfoot,_

_I think we've been a horrible influence on Remus. He actually helped Harry prank me the other day. My hair's been pink for the past few days. The team got a terrible laugh out of it, so I've got a few new nicknames on the team, not very original, though._

_In the last letter, I didn't tell you what happened at my therapy session. The therapist laughed at me! Of course, what I had said seemed to be a little odd. If the roles had been switched, I would have laughed, too. He asked me what he thought was the cause of my problems and I told him. I told him that rats bother me. It made him laugh._

_Maybe the session would have ended faster if I just told him that I was scared of death. Needless to say, everyone is in some aspects. Of course, probably not you. Not after such a long time in there._

_Sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I'd scratch it out, but I'm using one of those quills that write what you are saying. I broke my hand in Quidditch the other day. You should have seen it; it was a great game. There's an article attached to this letter about it._

_Enough of my rambling, Remus wrote a book, but he's having a very hard time getting it published. It's a good book. I read it. Don't go having a heart attack now. They wouldn't let me send you a copy._

_"Prejudice is just a part of human nature as is judgement. If we were to stop judging people, we might as well stop breathing as well."_

_Did you know Remus was so philosophical? It's really odd how people can just jump out and surprise you. Much like him being a werewolf. Who would have thought that our timid little Remus J. Lupin could turn into a monster once a month? He'd kill me if I said it to his face, but it's kind of cool._

_Unfortunately, he's been on his own for the past few full moons. I've been under investigation because someone reported that I was an illegal animagus. Of course, they have no proof. They're watching me, though, really closely. I talked to Fudge and he's clearing it up for me. At least, he says he is. He never actually does anything. Oh well, it was our parents who voted for the dolt._

_Just four more years until Harry goes to Hogwarts. I hope you get out by then. I want you to be there when he boards the train. I want all of us to be there to watch the beginning of a new era._

_Keep a smile,_

_Prongs_

* * *

_July 1987_

_Dear Sirius,_

_Guess what Daddy did for my birthday? We went to one of his Quidditch games and he got the announcer to say happy birthday! I even got to sit in one of the boxes where you can get the best view of the game! It was so cool, I wish you had been there!_

_There was this one lady with an odd hat. It was huge with feathers and flowers and fruit all over it. She got mad when I laughed. Her and Daddy started arguing and she hit him with her purse. Mummy thought that was really funny, too!_

_I got my first broom today, too. It came with a cleaning kit and everything. Daddy showed me how to use it. One day, I'm gonna be a Seeker! I'll be the best one there ever was!_

_All the other kids laugh at me when I say that. Mummy says that they're just jealous because they'll never be as great as I am._

_You believe in me, don't you, Padfoot?_

_Your godson,_

_Harry_

* * *

_August 1991_

_Dear Sirius,_

_I'm so excited I can't sleep! I finally got my Hogwarts letter! Dad was so excited he threw a party for me. We had a bunch of sweets. Dad said something about getting some fire whiskey, but Mum smacked him for it. That idea was quickly shot down._

_I already have all my books and my robes! Tomorrow, I board the Hogwarts Express and officially become a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!_

_I hope I'm in Gryffindor, because I want to be just like you three! I want to be just like the Marauders and carry out school pranks and just overall terrorize the Slytherins!_

_I'm gonna make all of you proud!_

_I can't wait,_

_Harry_

* * *

James smiled as he stood with one arm around Lily's waist while the other waved at Harry. The boy was leaning out of the window, waving at his parents. Beside them was Remus, who waved as well. He was more than overjoyed to see a new generation begin Hogwarts.

"Give those Slytherins hell!" yelled James with a thumbs-up at Harry.

"I'll make sure they never forget the Marauders!" shouted Harry in response.

Lily laughed softly, "Just don't get expelled!"

When the train pulled out of view, depression settled on the two Marauders as they began to make their way back to the car.

"I wish Sirius had been here," said Remus, voicing what he knew James wanted to say. "He was never one to miss these sort of things. He never missed anything that was important to us." The other nodded softly.

"He'd have said something smart-ass," mused Lily with a chuckle. "I do imagine that we've done our best to ruin our boy for Sirius, though. He'd appreciate it."

They continued to walk, but James stopped. He looked at them both, a frown crossing his face accompanied by a glare. They talked about Sirius as if he were dead. He wasn't dead, though. Sirius could never die, could he?

That thought was unconceivable.

* * *

October 1991 

_Dear Padfoot,_

_I couldn't wait to write to you as soon as I heard the news! First, the minor things. Harry was sorted into Gryffindor. He's found his own Severus equivalent. Remember Lucius Malfoy? Well, he and Narcissa have a son and he is now a first year at Hogwarts, too. I think his name is Draco. I'm not sure; Harry's handwriting was barely legible._

_Now, the big huge horrible fantastic news that I wish I could just run to you and tell you in person! Harry made the Quidditch team! No, the rules have not changed. They still don't let first years join the Quidditch team. My boy's the exception! He's the youngest player in a century! That's 100 years!_

_Remember when we agreed that Harry was going to do great things? I think this is the start of it, Padfoot. This is the start of an age of great things._

_I am the proudest father in the world,_

_Prongs_

* * *

July 1993

Sirius smiled slightly as he was handed the Daily Prophet. Taking it into his pale and skeletal hands, he shrank back to the shadows of his cell. This was one of the few times when he could tune out the screams of his fellow inmates. He did this by focusing on something else, but there was rarely something to focus on. The letters from James became less frequent during the summer, his best friend being busy with Quidditch. Harry never wrote him letters from Hogwarts.

He remembered the last letter. He had gotten in a fight because he was writing a letter to Sirius. Someone had seen him and asked why he was writing to the man who nearly got his father killed. James had taught Harry the way of the Marauders well. At first, the boy attempted to calmly argue with the other. Then, he hit him.

James sent him a copy of the letter he and Lily had received from McGonagall about the incident. It made a smile cross his face.

Sitting in the corner of the cell, he placed the paper in his lap and unfolded it. It was a surprise to him to find the front page full of good news. Then again, any good news had become a surprise to him. He was careful not to get too happy about things. The Dementors simply sucked it out of you. Happy was a foreign feeling to him, and it drove him to the brink of insanity.

His attention returned to the front page of the Daily Prophet. He saw the picture of the rather large family. This picture was, of course, the Weasleys in Egypt. He chuckled at the fact that they all had red hair. Arthur Weasley had been at school with him. He was older than they were, so he graduated before they did. Of course, anyone who went to school at any time during the Marauders' reign of terror knew something about their little stunts and pranks. Thus, Arthur probably knew something about him, too.

He looked at the large family and sighed. They all looked so happy. They probably loved each other, too. Sirius missed that feeling. He knew love. Friendship was love. He had three very great friends. Now he only had two, and they were unable to give him such an emotion. He knew the love of family, for James's parents had been kind enough to take him like a second son.

It was only fitting, though. James was nearly his brother, in spirit if not by blood. Thus, the bond they shared was that of brothers. That was the love he felt from James. He felt the love that only the closest of brother's share.

Sighing heavily, his eyes scanned the picture. The pyramids in the background were barely visible past the family. A ball of fluff sat on the youngest boy's shoulder. That must have been the Ron that Harry had said something about in the last letter he had written him. He enjoyed it when his godson told him about his friends. Sirius wished that Harry's friendships would be as strong and sacred as his own had been.

Of course, it must not have been that sacred to Pettigrew. He shook his head. If he kept letting his thoughts wander back to those things, he was just going to get angry. There was no sense in getting angry if you couldn't do anything about it. Therefore, he returned his thoughts to the photo. He took the edge of the page between his fingers and began to turn it when he finally realized what that ball of fluff really was.

Pulling the paper closer to his face, he took a very close look at the boy's shoulder. It was definitely a rat. That rat looked so familiar, though. His eyes moved down to the rodent's paw and saw that it was missing one of its little rodent toes.

His mind suddenly jerked back to an article he had seen earlier. The only thing they had found of Pettigrew was his finger!

In rage and anger, Sirius threw the Daily Prophet, which hit the wall with a smack. How dare that rat be alive! Not only had he betrayed James, the man who had been one of his best friends in school, but it was his fault that Sirius was currently rotting away in the wizard prison Azkaban.

He wasn't going to get away with this.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Author's Notes: Thanks, as always, for the great reviews! If you don't like this chapter, I am not going to blame you. I don't even like this chapter and I wrote it. Unfortunately, the story had to move along somehow. Anyway, don't let this discourage you! This is where the story gets very good. Trust me!**

**loopyfcc: I am so very glad that you enjoy this so much! Thanks!**

**brennqt14: I will make sure that Peter suffers for what he did.**

**Corky: Remy, you shouldn't be getting up so early in the morning! Thanks for reviewing, even though I think you simply do it because I am your best buddy in the world. I appreciate it, though.**

**Woo! There are a lot of exciting things coming up in the next few chapters, including a daring rescue on a broomstick, a bunch of nasty Dementors, and a very angry werewolf! Stay tuned!**


	7. What the Doctor Ordered

_Pursuing Sanity_

_By: Max Pilote_

_Chapter Seven – What the Doctor Ordered_

It felt so good the way his lips tickled the nape of her neck with his soft warm kisses. How would she ever wake up in the morning if he wasn't there to rouse her from her slumber with his gentle and romantic gestures of love? Of course, these little affections also made Lily want to stay in bed, curled up next to her husband.

"Mm, James, you're teasing me," she whispered before opening her eyes. They were greeted by the soft sunlight that pierced through the thin blue curtain hanging on the window. Lily peered up at James, who looked a little different without his glasses on. "It's too early in the morning for whatever you're thinking."

"Is that your response every morning?" asked James in mock disappointment as he got up and took a change of clothes from the dresser. His wife frowned slightly at this, for this meant that his usual morning tease was over. Now she missed it.

"I'm cooking breakfast!" he said with a proud smile.

"No, I think Harry deserves a nice, nutritious, and perfectly not burnt breakfast for once this week," stated Lily as she stood and pulled her robe about her.

James, who had moved on to shaving, didn't even bother poking his head out of the bathroom. She heard him scoff, though, and then the small curse he let out when he nearly cut himself because of the distraction. Her soft laughter echoed into the bathroom before she headed downstairs to cook the first decent breakfast the Potters had since James started cooking for them. He wasn't a bad cook; he just wasn't that good.

As usual, the father had to wake up the son. Summer never produced a decent reason for the Potters' son to get up before midmorning. Thus, Harry would remain in bed well into the afternoon if James didn't wake him up every morning.

Quietly, his came into his son's room. The décor had been changed since he was five. Now, the Seeker that flew about on his ceiling wore the house colors of Gryffindor. The Quidditch pitch that had been painted on the walls also sported the gold and scarlet of the house known for its bravery and cunning.

Over the years, James had thought of many different creative ways to wake up his lazy kin. Today, however, he decided to give the boy a break. Well, not much of one. As quietly as ever, he nearly crawled across the floor of the room before he reached the bed.

Then, he pounced. Harry cried out in surprise. His cry quickly burst into a fit of laughter and giggles as his father began to mercilessly tickle him.

After several moments of hearing her son shriek in laughter, Lily came upstairs and shook her head at the boys. Presently, Harry had James pinned to the floor and was attempting to get him back for the sneaky little trick as his father was trying to cast a tickling curse on Harry.

She drew her own wand from the pocket of her robe and called, "Expelliarmus!" Her husband's wand jumped into her extended hand. The two other members of her family froze and looked at her.

"Oh, good morning, Mum!" said Harry cheerfully as he abandoned his position on top of his father and bounded across the room before James could get to him. He grabbed his mother, as if in a long hug. Then, he turned and gave his father a teasing smirk.

"You are so much like me it should be illegal," remarked James as he continued down the stairs.

Morning pranks and laughs cast aside, the Potters went downstairs to begin their breakfast. The routine went as it normally did. Harry would set the table, James would go to retrieve the paper, and Lily would start to serve whatever was to be eaten that morning.

His attention left what his family was doing as James stepped out into the open air of the early morning. It was as if he were breathing in life itself. Not as good as being in the air, but James decided that it had to tide him over until Quidditch practice that afternoon. With a heavy sigh at reminding himself that hours stood between him and flying, he knelt down and picked the paper off the doorstep.

The front page seemed a little happy. Harry would be delighted to see it, thought James as he started back into the house. Adorning the first page was a large picture of the Weasley family. He and Arthur were on good terms, seeing as though they worked together. They formed a small friendship because of their sons being best friends and all. In the picture, the Weasleys were smiling.

That's when he remembered about what Harry had been telling him about the other night when he was far too tired to pay complete attention. Ron and his family were spending the summer in Egypt, returning for the last part in order to do their school shopping with the money they had won as well.

James smiled as he scanned the picture, sitting down at the table.

"You're friend looks mighty happy," he remarked to Harry. The boy looked up from his eggs.

"He's in the paper? Wow, lucky prat," he said jokingly. "Is the entire family there?"

"Yep, even the oldest ones. Cute, your friend even brought his rat with him."

The grip on his coffee mug faltered and he nearly dropped it. Lily and Harry looked at him n concern as they watched him with concern. He scanned the picture, staring down at the rat once more. There was no way he could forget that rat, especially after everything he had done! Not even the strongest charms ever created could cause him to forget the man who betrayed his family.

Suddenly, he felt sick. Excusing himself from breakfast, he got up and went into the bathroom upstairs, leaning over the sink. What was happening to him? Why did he feel this way?

He knew why. The source of his nausea was just how cruel the world could be. Sirius Black sat rotting away in the feared prison of Azkaban while the man who had done so many crimes against his family and friends walked about free.

Not only had he betrayed his family and his trust by nearly handing them over to Voldemort, he had been the reason behind Sirius being placed in Azkaban.

Of course, only days after the shocking news, Sirius Black escaped.

* * *

"Oh, that is such a ridiculous notion!" exclaimed James, throwing his hands into the air. "Sirius Black does not serve the Dark Lord and he is not going to try and kill me or my son in a desperate attempt to bring his master back.

"Honestly, can't you find someone else to bother? I have been accused of being an animagus, wrongful practicing of the Dark Arts, and helping Sirius Black escape from Azkaban. Can you people please leave me alone for even a few weeks?"

Lily refilled her husband's teacup and put her hand on his shoulder, an indication that he needed to keep calm. He sighed heavily, removing his glasses to gently massage the bridge of his nose between his index finger and his thumb. The past few weeks had been so trying. He had felt trapped and cornered. James Potter wasn't one to be kept in a cage, but he couldn't fight the Ministry either. He was well on the verge of it, though. After all, every day he lived he fooled the Ministry. He had been fooling them since his fifth year at Hogwarts. That was well over a decade now. Fudge frowned as he sat across from him.

"James, we are only taking necessary precautions to ensure the safety of your family," he explained. "The other things were merely Ministry procedures. We have to follow up on any leads."

"I worked at the Ministry. You're only saying that to hide the fact that it was really someone higher up on the food chain known as the Ministry of Magic who suggested it," remarked James, disdain and anger hidden in is frosty tone. He took a sip of his tea and looked at the Minister of Magic, his hazel eyes fixing him with a dissatisfied glare. "Honestly, what idiot would believe that I would even dare to use the Dark Arts, let alone hurt someone with them?"

He wasn't sure where the accusation came from, but he was pretty sure it had something to do with a small accident he had last week concerning a former classmate.

"We aren't allowed to divulge that kind of information. You know that."

"Whatever the case is, no Ministry is coming near my house, my family, or myself. Is that understood?" he said sternly, his eyes now burning in anger. "_I_ will punish anyone who decides to hurt my family, and I can assure you that I am very much capable of defending myself. That, however, does go without saying."

The nervous wizard before him nodded slightly and took his leave. James shook his head and frowned at his tea. He hated getting so cross with people, and he certainly hated the way he had scared Fudge. Of course, the fear of him was a rather normal thing. Having defeated Voldemort, it was a ready perception that James was a very powerful wizard. While he did have quite a bit of power, he knew he couldn't possibly have as much power as everyone thought he did. Only Dumbledore could possibly possess that kind of power, if it were possible for any witch or wizard to even dream about possessing the power he was rumored to have.

A soft kiss to the nape of his neck brought him from his reverie. His soft hazel eyes turned on his wife and he smiled, forgetting all his worries. Her bright green eyes, full of love and devotion for her husband, shined with a happiness there that few would understand.

"Come, we've got to get Harry to Diagon Alley," said Lily with a smile. "His school supplies won't buy themselves."

"Oh, how I wish," replied her husband in a sarcastic, yet cheerful tone. Every bit of ice had melted from his voice and left the happy James Potter that most knew.

Harry bounded down the stairs at that exact same moment. He had grown into quite a fine young boy since that one Halloween night, now standing very tall and well built. James smiled as he watched his son running with speed down the stairs of the house, despite the number of times his mother had warned him against that. He looked so much like his father it was amazing. The same round glasses he had worn as a child were still his first choice. Of course, they had long since gotten him a larger pair of glasses. He was the same tall and skinny boy his father was. The family curse, as James so happily put it, had also been passed down to the poor boy. His hair was jet black and unruly, sticking up in the back just as his father's had.

What set him apart from his father was his eyes. He had the same strikingly beautiful green eyes as his mother. If something happened to the other, Harry would always be a reminder of the love the two had held for each other.

James stood and stretched before letting Lily take his teacup. "Yes, let us abscond to Diagon Alley for our annual excursion," he said with a chuckle, but making it sound as if it were a daunting task. "Besides, I need to stock up on some er...supplies."

"For what? Pranking Remus?" asked Harry, so much the Marauder his dad had been.

The response he received was highly unexpected.

"No, I need to keep the Ministry away from the house," replied James, his tone changing from cheerful and carefree to very serious. "Your godfather's out of Azkaban."

"Really?" asked the boy. "They actually let him out? You said that he was going to be in there for the rest of his life! Did they finally listen to you and let him out?" His eyes lit up and he seemed extremely happy. He hadn't seen his godfather since he was one. Thus, he didn't remember much of him. James and Remus had taken to telling him the great stories of Sirius's daring exploits through Hogwarts. They even showed him the pictures from their school years at Hogwarts. While the papers always depicted Sirius Black as a horrible murderer and a dark wizard, Harry always saw him the same way his friends saw him. To Harry, Sirius Black was Padfoot, the fun-loving and hyper puppy that was James's spiritual twin.

Silence fell over his father, who frowned a little and furrowed his brow. "Harry, they didn't let him out, as you're thinking," he quickly explained, though he felt bad for instantly crushing his precious child's hopes and dreams of ever knowing his godfather. Well, there was still the possibility, but it would be fleeting. It was highly unlikely that Sirius could escape the Dementors forever. Once they found him...James didn't even want to think about. Of course, what he adverted his thoughts to was not that much of an improvement. "He escaped from Azkaban and they're looking for him, Harry."

"Then we have to find him first!" exclaimed Harry. "We can't let Ministry get him! They'll send him back to Azkaban when he never did anything wrong to them!" This was, of course, the first thing James would have thought were he Harry's age once again. At the moment, though, he was far more level-headed and mature than his teenage son.

There were so many things that James needed to explain to Harry, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to scare his child like that. Not only was the news of Sirius Black a huge surprise to both the remaining Marauders, it was not only Sirius who had noticed the photo in the Daily Prophet. He could never forget the face, or form, of evil.

James also had to consider the mental state his fugitive friend was in. Since he had heard no word from Sirius, there was no evidence supporting or denying the fact that his friend may have very well gone insane. Azkaban did things to people. Those unfortunate enough to be placed within its stone walls were driven to insanity, never to return as the ones that they once were.

It was believed by the remaining Marauders (and Peter at one point) that an insane Sirius would probably be a very dangerous Sirius.

He took Harry before him and gripped his shoulders firmly. "Harry, if Sirius ever gets to Hogwarts," said James with a frown, "promise me that you won't go looking for him. This is something that we as the Marauders need to take care of. You just focus on your studies and Quidditch." The tone in which he spoke was not only firm, but commanding. Lily could rarely remember times when James used this voice on those he cared about.

The downcast look in his son's eyes nearly broke James's heart, but he had to do it. He had to make Harry understand that it was not only dangerous, but he didn't want his son around the real Pettigrew. He didn't want his son knowing the real Peter instead of Scabbers. It was already bad enough that he just learned his only son had been sharing a dorm with the rat for the past two years. Then again, he felt even more sorry for the Weasley family. That rat had been living under their roof for countless years. Of course, it depicted the role that Peter was always doomed to play in whatever life he led. He would always be the pet, the tag-along.

"Dad, I don't...I don't understand why I can't see Sirius," admitted his son with a frown as he was pulled into the strong embrace of his father. "Will I ever get to see him?"

"You will, baby. You will."

* * *

As was the norm for that time of the year, Platform 9 ¾ was packed with people. Many Hogwarts students and many soon-to-be Hogwarts students rushed around the station, some clad in their robes while others still wore their street clothes. Worried parents bid farewell to their children as they watched them board the train.

The Potters were no different. Lily hugged Harry and kissed his cheek.

"Now you behave," she said to him. "I don't want to get anymore letters about your daring and outlandish pranks with Ron, okay?"

"What your mother means to say," said his father with a chuckle, "is that if you do play any pranks, you better make sure that you don't get caught. I didn't give you the invisibility cloak for nothing."

Harry nodded to both of them. "I love you!" he said to them before boarding the train with his friend Ron.

His parents shook their heads and waved at him as Hogwarts Express took its occupants off to what would prove to be a very exciting year for many of them. The students' minds were not just focused on the year ahead of them, though. News that Sirius Black may be on his way to Hogwarts was a rather disturbing bit of news to many people. While the Daily Prophet had not divulged this information, parents who worked at the Ministry of Magic may have mentioned this in passing or their children may have overheard.

The topic made Harry a little more than uncomfortable. He had to pretend that he didn't know anything about Sirius Black, and it was expected of him. It was simply assumed that James had far better things to speak with his son about than the supposedly former best friend who had allegedly betrayed him and his other friends. This curtain of ignorance was just to keep up appearances.

Ron led the way and they searched for an empty compartment. Harry looked through the windows of the compartment doors as the walked down the aisles. In the one at the end of one of the passenger cars, he saw someone sleeping in there that was oddly familiar.

"Hey, let's get in this one," he said to Ron with a smile.

The red-head shrugged, "I don't see why this compartment is more appealing to the others, but if it works for you."

"My uncle Remus is in here! Well, he's not really my uncle by blood, but he and my dad are so close that we just call him my uncle," explained the other quickly as he quietly slid the compartment door open.

The two boys came into the compartment; keeping the amount of noise they made down as to not wake the sleeping man. Ron thought he looked rather peculiar. His robes were ragged, but patched in places where there might have been holes. Apparently, he wasn't a man in the greatest of wealth or social classes.

He wasn't completely wrong. Harry knew that Remus was a werewolf. James wasn't about to hide that from his son. His ailment made it rather hard for Remus to get or keep a job. The only reason his house was in decent conditions was the fact that Sirius had left it for him and James helped him pay for it.

Why was he there, though? His father hadn't mentioned anything about him being at Hogwarts and Ron knew nothing of it, thus Harry was utterly clueless. He dismissed it, though, as Hermione entered the compartment. The three frowned as the train jerked, nearly throwing the standing witch to the floor. Scenery that had been moving was now completely still as the Hogwarts Express had drawn itself to a complete halt.

"What's happening?" asked Ron as he helped Hermione to her feet.

The intelligent young witch shrugged and looked out the window, "Maybe there was something on the tracks?"

"I doubt that," said Harry as he continued to watch out the window.

It became piercingly cold, a blanket that engulfed and swallowed him. Harry became suddenly aware of a different presence...a dark and disturbing presence. He had felt something like this before, and his father had told him that it was the Dark Lord when he came to kill the Potters. This, however much less threatening, struck an odd fear within him.

Ice reached out across the windows, like fingers reaching out in all directions. Their breathing became visible on the air as steam as soon as it parted with their bodies. It was approaching swiftly. He could feel it. It was closing in around him and sucking what felt to be the very life from him.

The creature was hard to describe as he came past the window. Sorrow and fear followed in its wake along with the sudden drop in temperatures. Billowing black cloak, it seemed to float along aisle. It didn't pass the second window, for it stopped in front of their compartment door. The three students pressed themselves against the back of the little space as the door slid open.

It engulfed Harry, choking him as he felt the cold become more like a gripping hand. The very life felt as if it were being squeezed from him. His chest felt constricted and his breathing labored. As he fell to the darkness, he heard screaming voices in his head.

_"Where have you hidden the child? Where is he? You cannot protect him forever."_

_"You're wrong! I will always protect him. No one, not even you, can harm my son as long as I am alive."_

_"CRUCIO!"_

* * *

He spent the better part of the hour trying to explain his predicament without relenting any information that he was not comfortable with having known to anyone else. After a while, the man sitting across from him gave him an odd look before speaking.

"So, you're saying that you're feeling useless?" asked his therapist with a frown. James had asked if he could schedule an early appointment. It sounded urgent, so the man had agreed.

"Not useless, just helpless," corrected the distraught wizard. "To put it simply, there is something that I have to do but I'm having second thoughts about it. I fear, however, that if I do not attempt to solve this problem, I may fall deeper into madness."

He looked up as the doctor laughed softly at him, "Then why not take the needed course of action? What is life if we do not take some chances? Isn't that what you told me once? I think that it is time we stop talking about your problems and you get out there and solve them. Start with the simplest one, and then complete the most daunting task."

Silence fell over the doctor and the patient. James felt more than foolish at that moment. Why was he so blind to the simplest solutions? Then again, was it just that everyone had actually started to convince James Potter that he was no long self-sufficient enough to make his own decisions concerning his mental state?

With a heavy sigh, he gathered his coat and decided that he was definitely going to solve this problem.

He had defeated Voldemort; he could definitely defeat Peter Pettigrew. Unfortunately, he knew Lily would never allow him to go to Hogwarts without a good reason. She kept a watchful eye on James. She had attempted to keep him on a short leash, but he was not a man for limits. Thus, she allowed him to roam, so long as he adhered to the certain circumstances that are obvious between a husband and wife.

Remus would never help him, not that the werewolf could. He hadn't been at home, and it looked as if he had packed a bag or something, because most of his precious things were missing from the apartment that he had Sirius had once shared. James didn't break in, mind you. The doors to each of their houses would always open for a fellow Marauder. Only true Marauders, though.

No traitors.

That was deepest blow to the Marauders that anyone could have dealt. The four were so close that a traitor within them seemed the farthest possibility. Then again, they had suspected it was Remus.

It seemed only fitting that it would be Peter, the tag along who searched only for powerful friends.

"I guess we didn't have the power you wanted," muttered James. "Oh, I will show you the kind of power I have, though. Sirius better hope he gets a hold of him before I do, because I won't even leave a finger left for the Ministry to find."

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Author's Notes: Okay, seeing as though this chapter is long enough already, I will respond to all reviews next chapter! Sorry, Moony, but Remus didn't do you-know-what to you-know-who this chapter, but I promise it will be a definite thing in chapter eight!**


	8. Black Dogs and Purple Bruises

_Pursuing Sanity_

_By: Max Pilote_

_Chapter Eight – Black Dogs and Purple Bruises_

"Is he going to be alright?"

"I can assure you, Miss Granger, that Harry will be perfectly fine."

Voices. They sounded familiar, but he couldn't seem to figure out who they belonged to. His head wasn't working efficiently enough at that moment to really get anything out. All his thoughts and questions came out in one jumbled up mass of nothing.

Slowly, he opened his eyes. Three familiar faces loomed over him. The eldest chuckled softly at seeing him awake and placed a piece of chocolate in his hand.

"Eat it, it'll warm you up and make you feel much better."

Harry groaned and started to say something sarcastic, but stopped as he saw the same look that was given to his father. It was a warning that he shouldn't say what he wanted to say. His mother also used it, maybe something she picked up from him. After all, she had become somewhat of a Marauder thanks to her husband and his friends.

With a defeated sigh, Harry ate the chocolate and sat up. True, it did make him feel much warmer than when he woke up. It didn't set his mind at ease, though. He looked at the others and frowned, "Anyone bother to tell me what the Dementors were doing on the train?"

"They may be looking for Sirius," said Hermione with a frown. Only Hermione and Ron knew that Sirius was his godfather. From everything their friend had told them, they weren't ready to believe that Sirius was evil or capable of everything they made him out to be.

"Do you suppose he's coming after you?" asked Ron, averting his gaze from the window.

It was the first time Harry had noticed the train was moving. He shrugged at his friend's comment and decided best not to comment on such a thing. Besides, there was no use in talking about something he couldn't do anything about. His father had forbidden him from going after Sirius Black. Would he go against his father just for a chance to even glance at his godfather again?

He decided that it was time to change the subject. Harry looked at Remus and smiled, "Thanks for the help, but what are you doing here?"

"I am your new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor," replied the wizard with a smile.

* * *

She looked as if she were contemplating whether or not she wanted to face the consequences if she killed him. Anger was a present emotion in the room, but it felt a lot like frustration at that time. The fiery red head was staring at her husband, as if she were trying to set him ablaze with her emerald eyes. 

"Really," said James, starting to argue once more, "I'll be keeping Harry out of harm's way and doing a job that the Ministry probably couldn't pull of or could pull off if they hadn't fired me."

"Don't lie to me," commanded Lily sternly as she turned away from her husband. "I've been married to you for fifteen years now! You think you can still lie to me? You're going to Hogwarts to make sure the Ministry doesn't catch him because we both know what they're going to do to him if they catch him."

He shuddered at the very thought of what she was implying. They wouldn't do that to Sirius, would they? It was inhuman and cruel.

"If they catch you, James, they're going to toss you in Azkaban! It doesn't matter that you defeated Voldemort! It doesn't matter how friendly you are with the Ministry! If you help Sirius Black, they'll throw you in Azkaban and Harry is going to have to live the rest of his life without his father!"

"It's not that dire, dear," replied her husband as he sighed and reached for his coast. "I am not going to look for Sirius, though. I don't even know if Sirius is sane enough to remember me. For all I know, he's at Hogwarts trying to kill Harry!"

"Hogwarts is safe."

"Of course," stated James sarcastically, "they watch everyone like hawks. If anything suspicious happens, they're right on it. Please, Lily, we got away with nearly everything when we went to Hogwarts. There is nothing to say that Sirius can't get to Harry."

"That still isn't the only reason you want to go to Hogwarts. You're going to look for Sirius Black!"

Slipping on his coat, he gave his wife an apologetic glance before placing his wand in his pocket. "I'm going."

"No!" yelled Lily. "I forbid it! You aren't going to Hogwarts! What if you get hurt?"

As his hand touched the doorknob, he almost looked back. Still, he didn't want to see his wife glaring at him or crying.

"I swear to god, James, if you walk out that door don't you dare come back!" This was the only way she could think of to keep James here. He wouldn't risk losing Lily, would he? She didn't want him running off and getting hurt or killed! Sirius was always dangerous, but after escaping from Azkaban. He might even be trying to kill James.

Lily wouldn't actually bar him from the house. At least, he thought she wouldn't. She loved him, right? Even though he was impulsive, brash, stubborn, and a bit of a prat at times she still loved him. At least, he thought she did. She just didn't understand! This was something he had to do! He couldn't just come out and say that he was going to Hogwarts to kill Peter Pettigrew! As much as she hated Pettigrew, Lily didn't condone that kind of action.

It was still clear. Lily Potter and James Potter were married. That meant that she loved him, so she would forgive him. With a heavy sigh, he made his decision.

The door creaked as it opened. "Good-bye."

* * *

Remus sighed as he read over the newspaper articles once more. Today was definitely going to turn out to be a very eventful year, if not a distressing one. Of course, he knew that James would come to Hogwarts. There was little that could stop the wizard from coming to exact revenge upon the one that he had trusted with such a fragile thing. 

He looked down at the scraps of paper in his hand. There was the Weasley family smiling and waving at him, a shivering rat curled up on the youngest boy's shoulder. Behind that picture was the wanted photo for Sirius Black. If that man was sane it would be a miracle. The next newspaper clipping had just words, no pictures.

James had been debating this one for such a long time. It was an interview for the paper; the only one James had done since Halloween that detailed the story of his fight against Voldemort. Before then, he and Sirius had done an interview for the Daily Prophet about their Auror positions. He was sure James had that saved somewhere.

The door creaked open before he had the chance to look over the article again. Remus sighed and hastily put the articles away as he saw Minerva McGonagall enter the room.

"Ah, Professor," he stated with a charming smile, "what brings you here?"

"Well, I wanted to see if you needed any questions answered before the start of the term," she replied, standing in the doorway.

"Do come in, Professor. While I don't have any questions that need to be answered, I would so enjoy a cup of tea with my former educator," he replied, getting the pot of tea he had just finished making.

"It was quite surprising," said McGonagall as she took a seat across from Remus's desk. "Never did I think I would be teaching along side one of my former pupils."

"Nor did I expect to be teaching," remarked Lupin as he served her a cup of tea and sat down to his own. "And I'm teaching here at Hogwarts. Dumbledore is most gracious for giving me the job. It is nearly impossible for me to get a job these days."

He smiled softly as he remembered the days when he was at Hogwarts as a student instead of a professor. Few were his worries, but the ones that he had were heavy. There was always the chance that someone would discover his secret or that he might hurt those who already knew. A smile crossed his face and he chuckled.

"I've lost track of what James was up to over the years," said the Transfiguration professor after they spoke for a few moments on Remus's school days. "Well, it's almost like he's disappeared since Halloween that year, save for the outstanding job that he's doing in Quidditch."

Remus took a deep breath and released it. He wasn't sure what James would want him to tell, or if he would want anything to be told at all. Of course, she would eventually find out.

"He got fired from his job at the Ministry. Well, he was forced to retire, as our Minister of Magic so nicely put it," explained the werewolf with a tone of sadness in his voice. "After the fight with Voldemort, he began having panic attacks. At times, he would become confused. Reality and nightmare sort of blended together and he would attack the wrong people Fudge ordered him to go to a recommended therapist. He was diagnosed as a danger to himself and others in his current field of work."

"That explains why James became a Quidditch player," remarked the elderly woman before him.

"Oh, he didn't have to wait long for that to happen. The day after he retired, he was recruited for the England Quidditch team as a filler for Chaser. Now he's a permanent addition.

"It's a good thing," continued Remus with a smile, "that he's back in the air again. It's done wonders for his spirit and his mental state."

The large clock behind his desk chimed and Remus realized that it was well past midnight. Classes started tomorrow and he didn't want to keep the professor up all night.

"It has truly been a pleasure speaking with you again," she said earnestly as she stood. "Good luck on your first lesson. Don't let the position scare you."

"Ah, yes, the dreaded curse of the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I think we may have started that," remarked Remus with a chuckle as he shook her hand and held the door for her. "I believe it was Sirius who chased off that one professor."

A smile crossed her face as she remembered the old Sirius Black, the innocent Sirius with a knack for trouble. She left, and Remus sighed heavily. Moving across the room to the window, he gazed out at the sky. It was almost as if the sky were different at Hogwarts than anywhere else. His gaze fell on the ground and he noticed a pair of eyes, glowing slightly from the reflected light of the window, staring at him from the dark.

A cloud moved out of the way of the waning half-moon, allowing what little light it gave off to grace the ground below. The pair of eyes were now connected to a body. It was no better than peering at them in the dark. The body connected to it was the form of a rather large dog with shaggy black fur.

Remus shook his head and frowned, "Sirius, you idiot."

* * *

He was delighted by the fact that the first class of his day was Defense Against the Dark Arts. Harry was well aware that Remus, as reserved and calm he seemed, had a knack for making things that seemed boring rather exciting. 

This was confirmed when they were gathered inside the staff room at the beginning of class, crowded around a shaking cabinet. The students muttered between one another, not quite knowing what to expect from their new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor or lessons.

Professor Lupin cleared his throat as he stood in the middle of the crowd, but a distance away from the shaking cabinet.

"Alright, class, keep your distance," he instructed with a smile. "Today, we're studying Boggarts. Boggarts are creatures that dwell in dark places, so there are plenty dwelling in Hogwarts. I was lucky to come across this one and asked that they keep it here for my lessons a little while. Now, who can tell me what a boggart does?"

He looked around and smiled at Hermione, "Yes, Miss Granger?"

"A boggart depicts its target's worst fear," she explained, as if the answer were obvious.

"Very good, five points to Gryffindor. Now, this is sort of a defense mechanism for the boggart to scare off any who may approach it. The way to defeat a boggart is to confuse it with laughter. Think of something funny and then say the spell. _Riddikulus! _Let's practice that."

"_Riddikulus!" _chanted the class.

Lupin smiled at them. "Great job! Now, line up and we're going to practice on the actual boggart. Everyone think of something funny. Once you have cast this spell, the boggart will turn into what you are thinking of."

Before he could open the cabinet, the door to the staff room opened. The entire class turned to watch as James Potter stepped in. He smiled at Harry and then to Remus.

"Is this a bad time?" he asked as he stood by the wall near the door. "I can come back later if you don't want me in this class."

"Well, who better to help me in Defense Against the Dark Arts than a former Auror, right?" remarked his old friend with a smile. "We're about to study boggarts. Why don't you demonstrate to the class how this is done?"

The wizard shook his head and chuckled, "Now, Remus, why would I want to upstage you in your own class?"

"Stop being such a prat and do it," retorted Lupin as he pulled James and pushed him in front of the cabinet. "What do you have to be scared of besides your wife?"

"I'll kill you for this," muttered James as the werewolf walked to the side of the small crowd of students with a small smirk on his face.

"This'll be fun," remarked Remus.

Sighing in defeat, James drew his wand and got ready. With a flick of the professor's wand, the cabinet flew open and the boggart burst from the dark. The entire class watched in silence as the creature formed into a huddled figure on the floor, rocking back and forth, and speaking in jumbled words to itself.

Harry watched as his father paused for a moment. His eyes glanced at Remus, who was getting ready to jump in should James need help. Averting his gaze back to the boggart, he watched as the huddled figure looked up at James. Black hair fell down to his shoulders. Dark eyes stared up at him with a deep sadness within them. The robes were that of a prisoner, tattered and torn. He continued to rock back and forth, before bursting into insane laughter, speaking nonsense and jumbled words.

This was what he was scared of. He recognized the creature in front of him as Sirius, his spiritual brother. He should have known. It was obvious that this was his worst fear.

It was one of his first thoughts when he had learned about his friend's escape from Azkaban. What if Sirius Black was not the same Sirius they had known? What if that horrible prison had sucked what little sanity Sirius had from him?

The boggart came at him in the form of Sirius and James pulled himself together.

"_Riddikulus!_"

There was a small pop. The boggart had stepped a distance away from James as it took the form of a much younger Sirius Black, smiling and laughing as if he had just been told a funny joke. With a wave of his wand, Remus sent the boggart back into the cupboard.

Whispers broke out amongst the students.

"If the boggart shows their worst fear, does that mean James Potter is scared of Sirius Black?"

"Wait, he defeated You-Know-Who! Why would he be scared of Sirius?"

* * *

Classes came and classes went before dinner was finally ready to start in the Great Hall. Students poured into the large room and sat down at their respective tables according to their houses. The ceiling was dark, stars dotting the nearly black background. As always, the professors were seated at the staff table. There was an extra chair beside Professor Lupin, but it was empty. 

Remus shook his head as he looked around. "James better not try something stupid," he muttered to himself as he scanned the Great Hall once more. "He's a grown man, yet he would still be willing to play a prank or two? I don't think I'll ever get through to him."

As disappointed in his friend's inability to mature past the age of fifteen, he still smiled. It was really James and Sirius that had kept him smiling. Good news for him was a rare thing to come by. There were always laws being passed by prejudiced morons that made it almost impossible for him to get a job, even though he needed to live just as much as the next person.

People and their half-breed prejudiced were beginning to drive him up the wall. He was still human, even if he did turn into a snarling beast once a month. The human part of him didn't eat humans or attack people in a bloodthirsty rage just because he was an uncontrollable beast. The human part of him ate normal food and talked with normal people without eating them. The human part of him had to get a job to survive just like everyone else, had to eat just like everyone else, and had to get a job to buy what he needed to survive just like everyone else. Even with the creation of the wolfsbane potion, werewolves were still getting no better treatment.

Remus's attention snapped back to his friend as James came into the Great Hall. Even though Dumbledore had a place at the staff table prepared for him, James decided that he wanted to sit beside Harry and his friends. That was just like him. He loved and adored his son. Most opportunities they had to spend together they seized readily. Most people agreed that such a strong father and son bond was a very rare thing to come by.

James smiled as he sat beside Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville. Harry blinked as he looked up at his dad.

"Why aren't you sitting at the staff table? I assumed the extra seat was for you," said Hermione.

"It is," replied Harry for his dad. "Dad is just...odd."

"I'm not odd. I'm unique."

Before dinner appeared, Dumbledore stood from his seat and cleared his throat. This called the Great Hall to attention. He smiled his mysterious smile and spoke.

"I'll keep my announcement brief. I think it is an honor that we have a special guest here at Hogwarts that is planning to stay the remainder of the year. While he seemed to be currently missing from his spot here at the staff table, I'd like you all to welcome James Potter."

James stood and gave a short wave as people applauded before he sat down. He was used to the attention and celebrity that came with defeating Voldemort and being a national Quidditch player. Of course, he wasn't going to be modest and pretend that it was really nothing. It would really be an insult to all those who had fought Voldemort and died at his hands to say that he just came along and defeated the Dark Lord with a flick of his wand.

"I'd like you all to show him the respect that is known in Hogwarts students. While he is not a professor, he is a guest and he should be treated politely. Now, with that being said, dig in."

Food appeared on the tables and dinner started. James smiled as he began to make a bread roll pyramid on his plate.

"So, how do you like your classes this year?" he asked his son as his pyramid toppled and the bread rolled across the table. "Is Snape giving you trouble? I'll set him straight."

"I like my class, actually," replied Harry with a laugh as he watched his father call the rolls back and attempt to build the pyramid again, a roll in his mouth. "Professor Snape isn't giving me any trouble."

"Speaking of Professor Snape," started Ron. "It's a shame your dad didn't get to see Neville's boggart! That was hilarious!"

Harry nodded, "I didn't know Neville had it in him. Do you remember meeting Neville's grandmother once?" He turned to his father, who had finished his bread and had successfully built his bread roll pyramid.

"The old woman in the funny clothes?" he asked as he glanced at Neville, whose face had turned a bright red in embarrassment.

"Yeah, well, his boggart had turned into Snape and Neville had dressed it in his grandmother's clothes to counter it!"

"Congratulations, Neville," remarked James with a smile. "You're a true Gryffindor."

* * *

The Quidditch pitch was always peaceful when there was no one on it. What he wouldn't give to be in the air, but he was at a loss for his broom was locked in a closet at the home he was no longer allowed in. Of course, he was always on a broom. He had made a career out of his passion. Right now, though, he needed to clear his head. 

He shook his head as he looked out onto the grounds of the school, veiled in the darkness that came with night. The lake was placid, for the squid was sleeping peacefully at the bottom, and the stars reflected faintly off the liquid, seeming black in the night. A light breeze blew across the school grounds.

With a heavy sigh, James Potter reached up and ran his hand through his hair. He did this partially to move it out of his face and mostly because he was nervous. After the incident in Remus's Defense Against the Dark Arts class earlier that day, he had a lot on his mind.

His wife hated him, his former friend was so close to his son that it made him sick, and his best friend was possibly insane and wandering the halls of Hogwarts. Those were the main worries that were on his mind at the moment.

Thus, he stood in the stands of the Quidditch pitch, leaning against the railing as he wished his worries away. This is the way Remus Lupin found him as he went searching for his friend. It would be stupid if he didn't check the Quidditch pitch first. His first destination had been the correct one for he found what he was looking for there.

Silence ruled between them as Remus silently too a seat behind James, waiting for one of them to speak.

"Moony, is it silly for me to be scared of Sirius?" asked Prongs as he took his seat once more, breaking the growing silence between them. He looked at Remus and seemed to be searching his eyes for anything that might say that it was silly.

"You're not scared of Sirius," replied Moony with a chuckle. "You are scared of what Sirius may or may not have become. Being as resourceful and clever as he is, maybe he found a way to keep his sanity. He was good at protecting what little sanity he had."

Cleaning his glasses and replacing them on his face, James stood from his seat once more. "I'm going to go get a broom," he said more to himself than anyone else. "Maybe I'll join the Gryffindors at their Quidditch practice."

"That's not what you came here for," said Remus with a frown.

"Well, I can't just walk up to Ron and say, 'Hey, you're rat is actually a dirty, lying little bastard who handed my family to Voldemort with a neat little bow and a smile on his face. Mind giving him to me so I can kill him?'"

* * *

This was a stupid idea. Well, it seemed like one now. Sirius sighed, or would have sighed if he were in his human form, and continued to slink through the hallways. He had broken out of Azkaban to get Peter Pettigrew, but he had stayed true to his personality and didn't think before he came to Hogwarts. 

Thus, he was wandering through the corridors of Hogwarts in the dead of the night with no lights. Being a big black dog, though, he was less likely to be seen in the dark. So, he wasn't really complaining about the lack of illumination. Of course, Dementors didn't need lights to find him. They didn't even have eyes. Meaning that he had to stay in his dog form or they'd find him. Rather hard to use some secret passages when you're a dog.

"No, I thought I could do this all by myself. I thought that I could remember where everything was even after all these years."

He lifted his head up and tried to peer through the darkness. Footsteps reached his sensitive ears as they echoed faintly in the hallway. Lifting his nose to the cold air, he sniffed at it as if he were searching for some familiar scent.

"Probably took some secret passage to get through the castle quicker," said the voice once more. Whoever was talking must be a real nutter, for he was continually talking to himself.

There were two ways to go. Behind him there was a locked door. Or rather, it had been opened when he forced his way through it but he was pretty sure that it had locked itself. Then, he could just run forward and hope that whoever was there wouldn't notice him. Of course, one would normally realize when one was just passed by a huge black dog.

"_Lumos_," said the approaching figure. He was obviously holding a wand for the tip of it lit up as he came around the corner. Before he really had time to react or see anything with the aid of the newly created light, though, Sirius had attacked. The large snarling creature tackled his target, growling and snapping at him with his large and angry fangs. There was the clatter of wood against stone as the victim's wand flew from his hand and across the floor. Another small sound, drowned out by the snarling and snapping, sounded like some odd material skidding across the stone floor of the corridors.

The person beneath the rabid black dog struggled for several minutes, his left arm clenched tightly in the jaw of the angry dog as it shook it vigorously in an attempt to break it, and his right arm trying to push the dog off. Their ferocious struggle went on for several moments before the shout rung out in the hallway faintly.

"_Reducto!_"

As the body of the dog flew across the floor, his body twisted and grew into that of the known Sirius Black. The figure he attacked got to his feet and retrieved his wand and the other foreign object quickly. Flicking his wand, a few torches on either side of the hallway lit up and illuminated the small area.

"Sirius Black, I should feed you to the Dementors for that one. You're damn lucky I'm your friend or you'd be marching your ass to Azkaban right now."

Recovering from the initial shock of the curse, Sirius rolled onto his back and sat up, staring up at the man he had attacked. He looked at him in bewilderment for a few moments. Then, the man put on a pair of glasses with black rounded frames.

"James!" cried the fugitive as he leapt to his feet and embraced the man he had just attacked only minutes before, nearly throwing them both to the ground once more.

"I missed you, too, Padfoot," whispered James softly as he slipping his good arm around Sirius and smiled. "It's been too long, but we can't have a proper reunion without Remus."

"Moony is actually here? I saw him early, but I didn't think it was him. He looks so much older," remarked Padfoot as he continued to hold James against him. It was like he was scared that if he let him go he would never see him again.

"Speaking of," said James. He pulled away from Sirius, but held onto his arm, "I'm sure he'd want to see you."

"I don't know, he was really mad at me when I was arrested."

"Oh, don't be silly."

They hurried down the hallway, James practically dragging his old friend as he made his way for Remus's room. He didn't even knock before he burst in. Then again, neither of the Marauders had developed the habit of knocking unless it was a bathroom door or there were women on the other side. Well, even that couldn't deter Sirius, but it was expected of him.

James came in and smiled at Remus. "Happy birthday," he announced with a smile. He turned and pulled Sirius into the door and pushed him across the classroom until he was standing in front of Remus's desk.

The werewolf looked up from his work and stared at Sirius for a few moments. The silence in the room was almost deafening, broken only by the scrape of Remus's chair as he stood from his desk and walked around it. For several more moments, he stared up at Sirius as they stood in front of him.

It was like looking at a ghost. Azkaban had made Sirius pale, sickly thin, his eyes holding only a fraction of the light that it had once held. Hesitantly, he reached out his hand to touch the broken wizard's face.

Just a few centimeters from touching the stubble of a beard that had grown on his friend's face, Remus stopped. He clenched his fist, as if debating whether or not to really touch him. It looked for a moment as if he might be scared that if he touched Sirius, he would shatter.

It happened without warning. Without even so much as a breath, Remus struck Sirius with his closed fist. Padfoot reeled from the punch, stepping back a few moments.

"I have been waiting twelve years to do that," said Remus. There were hints of a wicked grin tugging at the corner of his lips.

"I damn well deserved it, too," replied Sirius with a smile.

No apologies had to be exchanged; no words had to be said. Remus simply pulled Sirius into a hug and smiled softly, more than happy that the Marauders were back together.

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**Author's Notes: Okay, since I have a hard time keeping up with reviews, I'm only going to answer really important questions that cannot be obviously answered by the fanfiction. Of course, if applies to something that may or may not happen in the future, I most likely won't answer it.**

**Anyway, thank you for all the great reviews! Enjoy this chapter and the must more adventure that happens in the next!**


	9. Of Memory, Hopes, and the Deepest Circle

**A/N: I have every intention of finishing this story, I've just run into a bit of a problem. The real ninth chapter was taking quite a long time to write, and it is a paragraph away from being finished. Unfortunately, as of June 28th, I left my home and had surgery. While my home is being made more handicapped friendly, I am currently confined to a location different than my home without access to a certain file that I need. Thus, this is a filler chapter until the real chapter nine is up. I'm really sorry guys. You must hate me.**

**Obviously, this will be shorter than most of my chapters.**

_Pursuing Sanity_

_By: Max Pilote_

_Chapter Nine - Of Memory, Hopes, and the Deepest Circle of Hell  
_

It was like comparing two photographs from a past and present. They looked like they could have been exactly the same save for minor details. When we all were students at this school, the three of us would sit by the fire in the Gryffindor common room just the way we were doing now is Remus's office.

Like I said, though, there are differences. My mind was filled with these photographs. In the first one, there were always four chairs instead of three. Each boy in his chair seemed carefree and happy--all except Moony who held his burdens beyond a happy surface. We were wearing the colors of our house with pride, as we always did. After all, we were Gryffindors.

The picture had changed. Those four boys had become men, but only three of them remained in the picture. Neither of us wore the robes we once proudly donned, and our carefree natures were gone. Remus bore his weight more openly, though he kept the reason to it a secret still. Azkaban had taken the light from my soul, so I sat eternally in darkness. Finally James sat in his own misery of uncertainty and fear.

"So, James, how's Lily doing?" I asked. I couldn't keep thinking about those photos.

The mention of her name, however, brought up a new picture in my mind. It hung on the wall above the Potters' fireplace. Before the threat of Voldemort had come to wrap its dark hold around their lives, they had taken one last picture of the entire group together.

Lily looked stunning in her shining white wedding gown, causing her hair to seem even brighter as its color stood in stark contrast to that of her gown. James, despite the fact that it was his wedding day, couldn't be bothered with even attempting to fix his hair. While Remus had no problem with wearing a tuxedo, it was a struggle to get Sirius to wear one.

_Not even for your best friend's wedding? Come on, Padfoot! I want you to be my best man, but not if you aren't willing to dress for it._

"She's not talking to me," admitted Prongs sadly. "I've sent her several letters, but she won't answer. Sent me some clothes and my broom, though. Woman might be mad, but she cares."

"I wasn't aware you two were fighting," remarked the werewolf sitting beside him. "Bad row, eh?"

A short laugh escaped from James as if the terms Remus used were an understatement.

"I'd rather not talk about my marriage," he continued.

I frowned as he did, not meaning to have upset him. Thankfully, Moony changed the subject.

"It was an incredibly stupid move to come here," he said. I knew he was going to start on me sooner or later. "They have Dementors all over the place. You're going to get caught if you're not careful--and I know you. You're never careful."

"Always so critical, Remy," I retorted.

A slideshow of pictures of Remus every time he scolded either of us suddenly flashed in my mind and I couldn't help but smile.

Why were we so wild back then? How could we change so much?

Time went on while we did nothing but talk about old times or things we missed.

I couldn't believe I missed so much. It's different to hear things in a letter and then hear the story from an actual person. As we got further into the conversation I realized how stupid I was back then. Due to my insatiable thirst for revenge against Peter I wasn't there for a lot of things.

He's not my son, but he's my godson. It finally struck me how any things I wasn't there for.

I wanted to see them. I wanted so badly to turn back the clock and be able to share those memories as vividly as his own parents did.

I wanted to have those memories to cherish because I knew that he wasn't going to stay young forever. He wasn't going to be a little boy forever.

I just hoped that he wouldn't grow up so fast.

It wasn't just for his sake, though. It was for the rest of us as well. After all, it was the children in our life that kept us young?

What were we going to do if all those children suddenly grew up?

* * *

_Three young boys smiled as they sat around the fire in the common room, each of them staring into the dancing flames that radiated warmth into an otherwise cold room. Each of them seemed as though they had nothing to really worry about at that moment. The silence between them was a comfortable one, not an awkward one. It was the kind of silence that spoke volumes--the silence that held an entire conversation within its confines._

_Finally, words broke into the silence, spoken by a young boy with caramel colored hair and amber eyes. He frowned slightly as his gaze moved from the fire to glance around the room._

"_Peter's been flaky lately," he replied with a frown. It felt like something that had to be said aloud._

_One of the other young boys, his unkempt hair jet black and his eyes a gentle shade of hazel, offered a reply to the remark._

"_Maybe he's studying for NEWTs," he suggested. He sighed and removed his glasses, laying them in his lap._

"_He has been acting strange, though," protested another black-haired boy, his bluish-gray eyes moving to his friends. "Wormtail's been a little jumpier than lately. Maybe something is bothering him."_

"_It's just the test," replied the bespectacled boy._

_  
The three nodded solemnly. In the growing darkness of recent times, each one had their own silent doubts and speculations. Each of them hoped, however, that it was just the test. They all hoped that it was only the test making all of them so nervous._

* * *

I looked over at Sirius to see him close his eyes and shake his head as if he were trying to remove some painful memory.

It was hard to convince him, even after twelve years, that all those events on Halloween night hadn't been his fault. I can't convince him and James certainly can't convince him. The only thing that has helped him cope with it is the knowledge that his friend doesn't blame him for anything. Prongs doesn't believe that it was Sirius's fault, even if Sirius can't believe that for himself.

Everything had happened the way it did for a reason.

Everything happens for a reason. At least, I hope things work that way.

That's just a delusion, right? It's like believing that good things happen only to good people, and that bad people will always get what they deserve in the end.

Peter was a bad person! Peter was a traitor, and he still hasn't gotten what he deserved.

But this isn't the end, is it?

Hopefully, for all of our sakes, this is the end.

* * *

_Revenge was a top priority on the list of things to do for the Death Eaters. While they searched for the man that had taken their master away from them, the Ministry stepped up its own efforts to put them behind bars. With their leader gone, they were disorganized and confused. The task was proving to be quite an easy one._

_It was a task that James Potter wished desperately that he could participate in. The extent of his injuries suffered on Halloween, coupled with the dangers the Death Eaters posed to him in his weakened state, prevented him from even leaving his home._

_Lily Potter saw the toll this was taking on her husband, but there was nothing she could do to ease his pain._

_Her green eyes followed him as he limped across the house, using a cane to support him where his leg failed. When the wizard sat down, his son immediately climbed into his lap and hugged him._

_Harry understood. He knew how close he had come to losing his father. Even as young as he was, it scared him._

_It had scared all of them._

_The red-haired witch crossed the room and sat beside her husband, who was holding onto his son dearly._

"_It haunts me," he whispered. "It worries me that I came so close to losing you two."_

"_But you didn't lose us," whispered Lily, leaning her head on his shoulder. "We're both here and we will always be here with you."_

_He smiled slightly, then frowned again. "Something else worries me."_

"_What is it?"_

"_I feel like there's a darkness inside of me, a growing hatred. I want so much to kill Peter. I want him to pay for what he did to us--for his betrayal," explained James. "But I can't kill him. I can't become the very thing that I hate! I can't become a senseless murderer like one of those forsaken Death Eaters._

"_Does this make me a bad person? Does this make me evil?"_

_Lily shook her head and kissed his temple._

"_No, James," she whispered soothingly. "It doesn't make you a horrible person. It makes you human."_

_

* * *

_

I want my sanity back. I want security and justice. I want to see Pettigrew in the depths of hell, burning as he pays for the sins he's committed against my family.

If I have to die to do this, so be it. He's betrayed me when I trusted him with not only my life, but the life of my infant son and my beloved wife.

Traitors cannot be forgiven. Their sins cannot be washed away.

* * *

**A/N: There is one review that I had wanted to talk about, but my speech will have to wait until my next chapter. Congrats, asshole, you're saved for now.**

**TO BE CONTINUED! I promise there will be more in the next chapter! Alot more!**


	10. The Marauders' Map

**A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long. I hope it's worth it.**

_Pursuing Sanity_

_By: Max Pilote_

_Chapter Ten – The Marauders' Map_

It was morning once again, and the Great Hall was once again crowded with students for the morning meal. The conversations were along the lines of the usual, though the incident in the Defense Against the Dark Arts class was still an avid topic amongst the students. The staff table, of course, was filled with professors save for two empty seats.

Towards the later part of breakfast, Professor Lupin and James Potter entered the Great Hall. The former Auror was smiling as he seemed to always be, for he was a carefree and seemingly relaxed man with an innate ability to spread an odd sort of cheer. Remus Lupin, however, was a man with secrets, and they were dark. He was far more uptight than James, but he was always more calm with him around.

Of course, if the three Marauders hadn't spent the entire night reminiscing, they might have been earlier for breakfast. James and Remus spent the night filling Sirius in on everything that he had not already been told of in James's letters.

"Whose class are you visiting today?" asked Remus as he and James took their seats.

James shrugged and smiled, "I figured I'd visit old Snivellus today during Harry's class."

The werewolf laughed slightly, "When are you two going to stop torturing each other?"

A wicked smirk was the only answer he received to that question, it was expected. Everyone in the same year as James and Snape knew that there were probably no rivals bitterer than those two. There was no clear reason why they hated each other, for that was something only they knew.

"Before I do that," started James, "I will probably check Filch's office for the Marauders' Map, but I doubt it's still there."

"Why wouldn't it be? Are you saying that someone in this school is skilled enough to actually get it from there?" suggested the professor.

"It could happen," his friend suggested. He gathered things on a plate and draped a napkin over it. "You have fun in class. I'm gonna go feed and walk the dog, right?"

James laughed and waved to Remus as he left the Great Hall, stopping only briefly to ruffle his son's already messy hair before disappearing around the corner.

Sirius, who had been lazing around in front of the fire as the black shaggy dog that was so familiar to James, lifted his head as the door to Remus's living quarters opened. The body of the dog twisted and stretched before it stood as a man before his friend.

"Food!" exclaimed Sirius excitedly as James handed him the plate. "It's food!"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," replied the wizard as he took a seat in one of the overstuffed armchairs in front of the fire. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as his shoulders sank slightly, his body relaxing with the release of the frustrated breath.

He seemed tired now. The dark circles under his eyes were more defined now that he had seemed to relax. In fact, if it had not been for Sirius pulling at his sleeve, he might have fallen asleep.

"What is it?" asked James, not even bothering to look at the sickly wizard unwittingly vexing him.

"Are you aware of the fact that the night time is supposed to be used for sleeping?" asked Sirius teasingly.

"I am well aware of that, Padfoot," answered his friend with an irritated growl. "Just because people are supposed to sleep at night doesn't mean that they do or that they are able to."

"Aww, is wittle Jamie-kins having scary nightmares?"

"I'll give you nightmares you—"

"Come on, James. What's wrong?" pressed Sirius, his voice making a surprising change from a tone of teasing to that of concern.

"I just...no, we've got other business to take care of. Finish your breakfast," replied James bluntly. "Maybe we'll discuss this later. Maybe."

A small whimper indicated that Sirius felt a little rejected, but he sighed heavily and went back to his breakfast. After several moments, James stood up and pulled a coat off the rack by the door. His hazel eyes were distant and sad. Dark eyes followed his trail out of the door.

Nightmares were really the least of his problems at that moment. The horrid dreams served only to bring those problems to light through frequent nightmares. His worries weren't the normal ones anyone his age would have normally worried about. Instead, his thoughts dwelled on the Dementors currently hunting his friend and the rat that ran freely through his dreams and over the fragile structure of his now paranoid life.

* * *

There was nothing worse than a double dose of Potions with the Slytherins. In fact, Harry could remember a few times he had fallen off of his broom that were better than the class he was currently in. He watched through the steam coming out of the cauldron while he cut the ingredients as Snape paced through the classroom in his usual manner. Hands clasped behind his back, face emotionless or sneering...it was definitely a normal day in the professor's seemingly dark life.

Actually, he sensed that there was something more in his stealthy walk. It was as if he were angry about something other than the stick that was constantly lodged in his—

"Harry, watch what you're doing!" cried Ron. "You're going to cut your fingers off!"

The young Potter blinked and looked down. Indeed, Ron had stopped the knife, which had been dangerous close to cutting through the tips of his friend's finger. Harry laughed nervously and smiled.

"I'll finish those," said the red-head, giving a concerned look to his friend. "You go ahead and mix the ingredients in the cauldron."

There was a faint creak as the door opened. That faint creak, however, caused what little color was left in Snape's face to drain. He turned on his heel and saw what he deemed to be the most horrific sight that any god could dare him to look upon.

"James Potter," said Severus icily as he turned his cold glare away from the Gryffindors in his class to his arch rival, "what are you doing in my classroom? I don't recall inviting you."

"Aww, Snivelly, I'm hurt," said James with a smirk as he walked into the room, glancing at the third years within before focusing his attention on Severus. "You never invite me anywhere. I figured you just forgot and invited myself."

The Potions master rolled his eyes then pointed towards the door, "I am teaching a class. Get out!"

"Don't act like you're the only one who knows a thing or two about Potions. I guess it slips your mind that I'm a former Auror, and we know a good deal about these silly little concoctions you make in this pathetic little place you call a classroom, Snape," continued James as he walked through the rows, peering into random cauldrons. "I guess you also forget that I had better marks than you. No, I doubt that slipped your mind, but it would be hard to keep track of. After all, it's just one of the countless things which I surpass you in."

While Snape struggled for an answer, James stopped at Harry's cauldron. The potion was supposed to be a dark green, but the two Gryffindor boys working at the cauldron were mortified at their potion, which was a horrific shade of brown. Discreetly, the marauder dropped something in the cauldron. It bubbled and became dark green.

"Potter," growled Snape, causing both Harry and James to look up at him, "get out of my classroom. Whatever you have to say can wait until my class is over!" The glare currently fixed on James would have sent a series of chills down any student's back.

James Potter, however, seemed to not even notice. He finished his seemingly innocent inspection of the class and left without continuing his conversation with Snape. As the door closed, the satisfying shrieks of several unfortunate young Slytherins whose cauldrons had began to spew their contents in every direction rang out in the hallway.

He took a deep breath and started to leave the dungeon. That was just what he needed to get his brain working again. Of course, it was not the only prank he had done. There was no need to even glance at his watch to know that at that precise moment, several unhappy toilets were going to start roaming the hallways. Exploding toilets were always a little more amusing to Mr. Prongs, but they didn't create a large enough window of time for him to get into Filch's office and out.

A curse echoed in the empty hallways before Filch hurriedly left his office with his cat trailing closely behind. This indicated that James's plan had been executed perfectly, as most of his plans were.

Before the door had time to close, James had entered the forbidden area that was the caretaker's office. He searched it quickly and thoroughly for any signs of the Marauders' Map. While he found quite an impressive store of items (from which he had formerly contributed to and now freely took from), he saw no sign of the item for which he searched.

Footsteps were coming down the hallway. With a heavy sigh, James turned and quickly left the office, hurrying out of the dungeon as if he were going to help in the chasing of the toilets. In the confusion, he ducked into an emptier hallway and went to tell Sirius the news.

While he walked down the hallway, however, he saw something interesting. A set of identical twins came out of a secret passageway which he had believed to be a mystery to them. Standing out of view behind a statue, he watched one of them pull a paper out of his cloak.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

James quickly turned and went in the opposite direction. Then, he waited for roughly thirty seconds before he began to travel down the hallway again. The Weasley twins were gone by now, which is what James had expected.

Sirius stared at James in disbelief as the wizard entered. He had left looking like one of the most depressed people in the world, yet he now stood in the doorway with a cheerful smile.

"Okay...you have to tell me exactly what happened!" exclaimed Sirius as James came in and sat down beside the fire. "You leave here looking like some sort of zombie and come back smiling like you just pulled off some sort of elaborate prank."

"Remy's gonna be pissed when he gets back, but I'm sure he'll get over it. They probably have him out in the hallway chasing toilets," replied the joyous Prongs. He watched as Sirius's drop open, but cut him off before he could ask the question. "Our map isn't in Filch's office. The toilets were a diversion so that I could get into his office."

"Well, if it isn't in Filch's office, where the hell could it be?" asked the fugitive as he watched James.

"I think we should be asking two identical red-headed brothers that question. The Weasley twins have it, and we need to get it back. Without it, we won't be able to find Peter so easily."

Sirius nodded and nearly jumped out of skin when something began tapping at the window. James walked over and opened it, letting a familiar owl in. It was a typical brown owl, but he had a little scarf tied around his neck and a pair of miniature goggles like they showed in old movies of pilots in their rickety old planes.

"What the hell is your owl wearing?" asked Sirius as he watched the owl drop a package on the table between the chairs and perch on James's shoulder. The package was a broomstick wrapped in brown paper along with a sealed cardboard box attached to the broom with strings.

"It was a collaboration between Lily and Harry when he was four," replied his friend. He gave the owl a treat, which nipped his ear playfully before flying off again. "At least Lily's thinking about me," he muttered as he unwrapped the broom and set it by the wall.

He opened the box and sighed. There were several indications that she was still angry with him. The most blatant clue sat at the top, which was a framed picture of a school-aged Lily slapping the young James. He winced as he watched the scene replay over and over again in the picture.

James sighed and threw it in the trash, the glass shattering when it hit the bottom of the waste basket. The rest of the contents in his box were simply things she thought he needed, which showed that she wasn't about to leave him over a small spat like that. There were some clothes, pajamas—things a doting mother my send her child at summer camp.

There were two things at the bottom of the box, though, that made his heart almost stop. In the beautiful colors of England sat his Quidditch uniform...right beneath his Auror badge.

Padfoot frowned as he watched James. He shook his head and decided to intervene. He grabbed James's broom and handed it to him.

"I think you need to get your head in the clouds," he said with a smile and demanding tone. "Have some fun."

* * *

It was now a Saturday, and the Gryffindor Quidditch team was already starting their practices for the year. Remus watched as they did their drills, practicing play after play. His eyes were on Harry most of the time, who was definitely his father's son. The young boy had a natural talent on that broom. He was born to ride it.

Being the parents that James and Lily were, they encouraged him in everything that he was good at. Thus, Harry was the only kid in school with a Firebolt. James was a little more dedicated to his old broom and still used it instead of getting a Firebolt for himself. Sirius called him a sentimental old fart, but that was back when they were in school and was over two completely different brooms.

Remus chuckled as he remembered the old Sirius. Of course, Sirius hadn't changed so much. Or rather, he had changed but changed back slightly when he was around his friends again.

In his reverie, Remus hadn't noticed a few of the Slytherin Quidditch players come onto the field.

Wood groaned as he and the rest of the team landed.

"Is this going to be an annual thing?" he asked with a scowl, his dark glare fixed on the captain of their rival team.

"We've got permission," was the reply.

"As do we, but we were here first so get lost," continued Wood.

"I've got a better idea."

All the players on the field turned to see James Potter standing in his Quidditch robes with a smile on his face. Like Harry, he wore goggles instead of glasses because they had a nasty tendency to fall off one's head when flying at high speeds. His hazel eyes held a glow of excitement behind them.

"How about a friendly skirmish," he said with a smirk. "One bludger, no new plays, and no cheating. If tradition still holds, I bet you dirty Slytherins still do a lot of that."

Harry watched as Draco Malfoy step forward and stepped to the front of his team as well.

"My dad says the only reason you're a Quidditch player is because you're too crazy to be an Auror anymore," he said with a sneer.

"Yes, well, I'm glad your father can take so much time out of his busy day ruining other people's lives long enough to stick his large nose into my business," replied James with a laugh. "What's your job on this team, anyway? Target-practice for the Beaters?"

"No, I'm a Seeker," replied Draco indignantly.

"Oh, don't blame yourself. Slytherins have never really been good at Quidditch," remarked the professional with a smile. "They've always had to scrape the bottom of the barrel."

Remus shook his head, once again amazed by his friend's inability to mature past the age of fifteen.

Well, he had actually gotten better. If it were their fifth year, he would have simply cursed him.

After several more exchanges, James decided it was time to start. They attempted to play a friendly game, but Slytherin lacked the ability to not cheat. Fortunately, the England Quidditch player had seen all of their tricks before and prevented anyone from getting injured.

The werewolf sitting in the stands watched James and Harry in the sky together.

It was too perfect. With a smile, Remus picked up the camera he had borrowed from James and took a picture.

* * *

James stretched as he pulled on a fresh set of robes. He frowned when he smelled what was supposedly supposed to be fresh mountain air. It was the laundry detergent that Lily always used. His heart broke, knowing that she hated him at the moment.

There was a knock on the door of his living quarters, for Dumbledore was kind enough to give him somewhere to stay, and then the door opened.

"Remus!" said James with a frown. "I could have been naked, you know."

"You act like I've never seen you without your clothes on," replied the werewolf, rolling his eyes. "Besides, you're not the impressive."

"Oh, I knew you swung that way," retorted Prongs with a smirk as he straightened out his robes.

Remus growled and random article of clothing at James, who caught it and tossed it in a chair. "Dumbledore wants to see you in his office, prat."

"Why?"

"Snape."

"Oh.

It sounded as though James had been expecting this for quite some time now, but all three of them had. Snape would be watching them very carefully. It was the only reason James refrained from letting Sirius wander around without the invisibility cloak. Even the slightest of hints that the fugitive was anywhere in Hogwarts Snape would be aware of.

The professor watched as James put his wand in his pocket. Under normal circumstances, there was no reason for anyone to bring a wand into Dumbledore's office.

Someone was going to end up in the Hospital Wing.

"Do you want me to come?" asked Remus with a frown, knowing that someone had to be there to calm the wizard down should Snape push him over the edge. There were a few subjects that were to be tread upon lightly. Undoubtedly, Snape would stomp on them.

James shrugged and sighed heavily as he started to leave. He decided to leave that decision up to Remus. There was really no doubt in his mind that things were going to go too far and someone was going to kick the other's ass.

Thus, a thick air of tension hung in the air as the two Marauders entered to room. Dumbledore sat behind his desk watching the three with a calm gaze while Severus sat in one of the three chairs set before the headmaster's desk. He wore the usual scowl on his face, but there a slight hint of satisfaction in his glare. His eyes followed Remus and James as they came in and took their seats.

Remus glanced sideways at his friend and noted that his hands were in his pockets.

The wise elder was the first to speak. "James, it seems Severus has accused you of harboring a fugitive here on the grounds of Hogwarts. Is this true?" he asked.

As arrogant as always, James simply smiled and shook his head. "Not that I know of," he replied.

"There, it's settled," said Albus with a smile. "I believe it is almost time for dinner. Maybe James would like to join his son—"

"That's it?" exclaimed Snape, jumping to his feet. "You're going to simply believe him because he said he's not hiding him?"

He growled and turned to James. "You've always had them fooled, haven't you? As many times as you got in trouble, all you had to do was flash that charming smile and world bowed before you, didn't it?" he said angrily. "Not only did you get Head Boy, but you even got Lily! Oh, I thought she was much smarter than that, but then she started dating you."

At the mention of Lily, James was on his feet. Of course, he was a gentleman at times and a gentleman always defended his lady's honor.

Of course, Severus was not yet finished. He seemed to have lost control of his temper, but it wasn't exactly a surprise. It had been building up since their school years together.

"Then you two got married and had that little brat who's just like his father—arrogant and stupid! But a happy family wasn't enough for you, was it, Potter? No! You had to go and supposedly defeat the Dark Lord, making the entire wizarding world worship you like some sort of god."

"I didn't go looking for him, Severus! He came to me and I did what I had to do to protect my family!" yelled James, his own anger rising.

Remus jumped up and grabbed his friends arm. "James," he said, "calm down before you do something you'll regret!"

"He's right James. You don't want to embarrass yourself further," continued Severus, now taunting James instead of yelling at him. "Then again, what could be more embarrassing than the man who defeated Voldemort losing his job because he's a nutter?"

"I'll show you what's more embarrassing!" yelled the enraged wizard. He jumped forward to bludgeon the antagonist standing before him, but Remus got in his way, holding him back before someone got seriously injured.

Everyone in the room froze when a loud pop rang through the office. They turned and Dumbledore cleared his throat. "I do believe we need some time to calm down," he said sagely. "Professor Snape, Professor Remus, you may leave. James, if you can calm down long enough, I'd like to speak with you."

As the two others left, James sank back into a chair and doubled over. He took a few deep breaths before he calmed down. After several moments, he sat up and looked at Dumbledore.

"It doesn't mean anything," said the headmaster as he watched the wizard. "You realize that."

"It hurts, Professor," replied James, his voice shaking and emotions strained. "I don't know how to convince them that I'm not crazy! How? How do I fix everything?" He looked at the wise old man, searching desperately for answers.

"You can't fix everything." It was a simple answer, and certainly not what he wanted.

"I suggest staying away from Severus for some time, and maybe getting yourself a nice hot cup of tea," continued Albus. "Take some time to calm down, and the answers will come to you."

He shrugged, deciding it couldn't hurt to take the old man's advice. James stood and left the room silently. He didn't have anything worth saying. The wizard sighed as he came to his current sleeping quarters.

Remus was already there. He placed a cup of tea on the table by the fireplace for his friend. "I thought it might help calm you down," he said with a small smile. "It's always a comfort to me when things are rough."

"Thanks, Remus," replied James, "for a lot of things. I'm sorry I lost my temper."

"You don't need to apologize to me," corrected Remus. "I've known you too long." He chuckled and placed the teapot on the table as well. "Sleep well, Prongs."

"You, too, Moony."

Remus left James to his own thoughts. He returned to his own quarters where Sirius was sitting by the fire in his human form reading through the Daily Prophet. He turned around in his seat and frowned as he saw the look on his friend's face.

"What happened? Why are you so sad?" inquired the fugitive.

The professor sat down in the chair beside his friend's and let out a heavy sigh. "I feel useless," he admitted, knowing that there was no reason to beat around the bush with his old comrade.

"Oh, you're not useless, Moony!" said Padfoot cheerfully as he bounded from his chair and knelt in front of Remus. "You're the voice of reason and—"

"Some voice of reason I am!" cried Lupin.

"Well, I was going to say that you're the brains—"

"Stop it, Sirius! I'm not the voice of reason anymore and I don't have the brain to solve these problems! I just have no idea how to help you and James solve your problems! It's gotten to the point where I'm not sure if I'm even fit to be called a Marauder anymore. I'm no help to you guys."

Remus hung his head and buried his face into his hands out of frustration—and to hide the fact from Sirius that tears were starting to roll down his cheeks.

But you couldn't hide something like that from one of your oldest friends and especially not if that friend was Sirius Black. The fugitive moved his friend's hands and pulled the wizards face up a little.

"We don't expect you to be able to solve all of our problems, Remus," he whispered softly. "We just need you there for support. We need you here to stand by us when no one else will. Please, Moony, don't feel this way. No matter how many problems you can't solve, you will always be a Marauder."

Life had been cruel to Remus J. Lupin, but he would never openly admit it. He could never find that one person that he could just break down with when everything was hopeless.

The walls built up around the werewolf's emotions broke. He leaned forward and buried his face in Sirius's shoulder and started to cry. There as no way for him to explain why—or for him to stop.

Thus, as Sirius held Remus, trying his best to calm his friend down, he let a single tear roll down his cheek. This tear was followed by another, and then another.

"It's gonna be alright," whispered Sirius. "Everything is going to turn out fine."

He held onto the crying Remus and continued to cry himself, wishing that he could believe those words.

* * *

**Author's Notes: There's really only one review I want to address, because, frankly, it sort of pissed me off.**

**Whoever you are (you could at least have the guts to sign your name or a name or something), I'm not trying to be completely and totally serious about this, alright. I like the way that I am doing things, and apparently, so do a lot of other people. Besides, I will do things that way I want to do them in my fanfictions. This being said, I really have no comments on what you wrote. Those are issues that I have thought about, but this is something I do on my spare time. I don't have the time to be that serious and in-depth with it. You are the only person out of the several who have read this fanfiction that has a problem with it, so I'm not going to change it. I would also appreciate it if you didn't review again, please. I don't want to have to put up with your whining. Wow, I think that sort of does count as a comment...doesn't it?**

**So, for those you who were wondering, that damned bastard did not scare me off. I'm slightly just lazy.**

**Woo! That was cool! Anyway, be on the look out for chapter eleven coming real soon! We're nearing the very end, so be wary! **


	11. The Young and the Old

**A/N: In truth, this is what was left over from the previous chapter. It got extremely long and I realized that if I didn't cut it off, the story was going to end a little sooner than I was comfortable with. Thus, we have an extremely long chapter eleven! Congratulations!**

_Pursuing Sanity_

_By: Max Pilote_

_Chapter Eleven: The Young and the Old_

_December 16, 1981_

_James looked at Sirius and frowned. They both knew what was going to happen._

"_I'm sorry I let you down," whispered James as he knelt next to Sirius. "I should have tried harder—"_

"_James, this is my fault. All of this is my fault," replied the criminal. "Don't blame yourself, because you tried your best. Just promise me two things."_

"_What?"_

"_Take care of Moony," said Sirius sadly, "because he needs our help. He won't ask for it, but he really needs it. And..." His voice trailed off and he looked at Lily as she walked over to the two men, the infant Harry in her arms._

"_And don't let Harry think I'm a murderer. Tell Harry the truth about his godfather," he finished._

_Harry smiled and reached out for Sirius, who couldn't hold him because of the chains on his wrists. Thus, the father held his son close enough to the wizard so that he might be able to say his farewell._

"_I'm sorry," whispered Sirius while the baby grabbed onto his fingers, "that I won't be there when you grow up. One day, you might be able to forgive me."_

_Silence fell over the room and everyone returned to their seats as the verdict finally came in. It didn't actually take that long, but minutes feel like forever when your life depends on a simple yes or no. Everyone was expecting a guilty verdict because there was absolutely no evidence denying him of the murder._

_James had considered telling them that Peter was an animagus, but what would that accomplish? By all standards, he was practically a Squib. They would want to know how Peter could possibly learn such a difficult skill, and it would be a hard blame to pin on Voldemort._

"_Sirius Black, you have been found guilty of the murder of Peter Pettigrew and thirteen muggles. By order of the Ministry of Magic, you are hereby sentenced to serve the rest of your days in Azkaban."_

* * *

James jolted from his sleep, startling the black dog that had been pawing at him for the past few minutes. He cleaned his glasses off before putting them back on. 

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," he said apologetically.

The dog jumped off his friend and returned to his human form. "I had to put Moony to bed," he replied. "So, are we ready?"

Prongs stood and looked around. "We'll have to be very careful, though," he explained. "I didn't get a chance to get the cloak from Harry today."

"Well, you're just useless, aren't you?" teased Sirius. He received a smile from his old friend.

Just as they had been sixteen years ago, the halls of Hogwarts were silent that night. The subjects in the random portraits along the wall were sleeping rather than being their usual energetic selves. Of course, the moving portraits gave life to what would be an otherwise dreary castle. Unfortunately, James and Sirius had to be extremely careful not to wake the portraits.

The shaggy black dog walked beside the wizard as they made their way to the Gryffindor tower. Despite their long absence from the school, navigating the school was not a problem to the two former pranksters.

The Fat Lady was sleeping, but years of dealing with her had caused James to grow indifferent to the woman's feelings.

"Hey!" he said loudly with a wicked grin.

She jumped awake and glared at him. "Oh! You shouldn't be--" She stopped in the middle of her sentence and her glare became fiercer. "James Potter! Sixteen years of peace and then you show up again—"

"Fortuna Major," announced the wizard impatiently. He wasn't in the mood to stand there and wait for her speech to end about how he and the other Marauders had tortured her with their late night outings and other such things that, in her words, deprived her of her beauty sleep for seven long years.

"I don't think you're allowed in here," said the Fat Lady.

"Hey, I have the right password," he said with a frown.

"But you've graduated!"

"Damnit, woman, I said Fortuna Major! Can't you just let me in?"

She swung open and the dog crawled through the hole before James, who let out a growl once they were in the common room. There was no time to complain about the portrait now. He flashed a smile at the remaining students dwindling in the common room as they finished some last minute assignment or a conversation with a friend who wasn't quite ready for bed.

In an instant, an overwhelming feeling wrapped its cold grip around James. He froze as Sirius darted up the stairs.

It was a simple thought that made it feel like the world wasn't there anymore. He could possibly be in the same room as the traitor that he had trusted so dearly as his friend. His son might be no more than a few feet away from the rat who had sold his family out to the Dark Lord.

He willed himself to stop thinking that way. Such simple yet amazingly lurid thoughts were simply a shovel he was using to dig a hole under his own sanity. He shook his head, trying to scare away the thoughts as if they were a fly, before the hole became so deep he was unable to climb his self-hating ass out of it.

"Hello, Mr. Potter!"

The wizard blinked and looked at the two twins heading up the stairs.

"Wouldn't happen to have a few spare fireworks with you?" asked George.

Because Harry and Ron were quite close, the two families involved had countless dinners together and birthdays. This served well enough for Fred and George to learn that Harry's father still had a bit of a wild streak in him. They could usually count on him having something to help in some sort of prank.

"I might. What are you two up to this time?" asked James in an amused tone. He was thankful for the distraction as he crossed the room and stood with the twins.

"Just a harmless trick, nothing too grand," replied Fred.

"We don't want to waste all of our good material at the start of the year," continued George.

"We're just ruffling a few feathers," finished the other twin.

The older wizard smiled and handed them a handful from the pocket of his cloak. "Indulge me boys. Care to show me some of your latest projects?" he asked curiously.

"Of course, you're opinion is always welcome, Mr. Potter," said the twins simultaneously.

The two pranksters led him to their dorm. James found that he pitied the poor boys that had to share this room with them, but it was more than likely that they had grown accustomed to the smell of their roommates' so-called projects.

Between the beds of the two boys was a grand mess of various objects. A rather rank smelling potion was brewing in a smell cauldron on an end table while various parchments were sprawled about.

Fred mulled over them a bit before picking up one he seemed rather proud of. He passed the paper to George for approval. With both twins in mutual agreement, the paper was given to James.

"Extendable Ears, eh?" he remarked with a smile. "That's quite the clever idea. I wish there had been some like you around when I was in school."

"Our current project right now--," started Fred.

"--is creating a stink worse than dungbombs," finished George, since either twin was so apt to finish the other's sentence or thought.

"Hm, that would be quite an achievement, wouldn't it?" remarked James. His hazel eyes scanned the mess of parchment scattered about before resting on a particularly familiar one hanging slightly off the unoccupied nightstand. He made his way around the bed, pretending to be interested in their plans.

Of course, the former prankster was genuinely interested in their plans. It was like a refreshing breath of vitality in his otherwise macabre life at the moment. Being part of this allowed James a window to look back into his own past at a time where he was genuinely happy and not just faking it for the sake of everyone around him.

"Now this prank is a brilliant idea," replied James, picking up one of the parchments. "Worthy of praise, that one is. Wouldn't it be a bit hard to set this one up, though? I mean, how would you go about that?"

Sirius or Remus would have known that their old friend was lying through his teeth. There were endless possibilities just running rampant in the wizard's mind as to how that particular plan could be executed. Letting the twins explain it was a needed distraction.

He slipped his hand behind his back and slipped the parchment into his sleeve and replaced it with a note. Seconds later, Sirius sat at the door as the shaggy black dog and barked relentlessly while scratching at the door.

"Sorry, boys," remarked James apologetically, "I'll have to cut you off before that dog wakes up half the school's population. We'll have to continue this some other time."

It was hours, however, before either realized that the map was missing. Fred picked up the note that was in its place and chuckled.

_Mr. Prongs would like to thank you on behalf of the Marauders for taking such good care of our map. He would also like to add that you will be getting it back once it has served its purpose to him and his fellow Marauders. Mr. Prongs, however, harbors no doubt that you have already memorized the map being the model pranksters that you are._

_He simply suggests that you be very careful when wandering the halls at night until the map is returned to you._

George blinked as he read the note after his brother.

"You don't suppose that—"

"—Mr. Potter is actually Mr. Prongs?"

The two twins looked into the faces that were mirror images of each other and smiled—two completely identical wicked grins of realization and understanding all at once.

* * *

Sleep had become a foreign concept for James after obtaining the map. Sirius ran around in his animagus form doing whatever it was he had thought up in that twisted mind of his, but he and Remus were always there to help him. Ghosts were known to frequent the hallways more often than James, who had given up his random appearances in the castle to sulk over the map. 

All things in his own life set aside, the wizard had to admit that he sensed a change in the lycanthrope. He seemed to be asserting himself more into the plans between James and Sirius, not that there were any current plans worthy of approval or action. It was like he was trying to make sure they weren't forgetting him or something. A mental note was stored in his mind to talk with Lupin next time he got in the mood to come stare at a boring piece of paper for a few hours.

He was brought out his reverie once again as he saw the dot labeled Peter Pettigrew still in the same place which was right beside the dot labeled Ronald Weasley which remained by the two dots labeled Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. Since he was unable to spend every moment of the day watching the map, the suspicion that Pettigrew only moved when he wasn't looking, though irrational, was brooding within him.

His entire reasons for studying the map was to see if Peter had some sort of routine. That rat couldn't stay with his owner all day.

Several desperate letters sent to Lily in an effort to apologize for his completely stupid decision that he wasn't quite ready to give up on had gone unsurprisingly unanswered. While James would be more than willing to have his owl peck his friend until he got at least a written reply, he didn't have the heart to do that to his already fuming wife.

There was this overwhelming feeling inside of him that if anything else could possibly make this worse, it was going to happen within the next few days.

A sudden knock on the door drew the brooding wizard out of his miserable self loathing. Provided that he would have bothered to actually pay attention to the map, the dot labeled Harry Potter had moved.

"It's unlocked," said James, regaining his composure. He had been expecting Remus, but his heart skipped once Harry entered the room.

"Got a few minutes to spare?" asked the young wizard tentatively. It was as though he were expecting his own father to turn him away.

"I've got the world for you, Green Eyes."

The boy walked in as his father folded the map and put it away. If Harry wanted to talk to his father so badly that he was willing to seek him out in his quarters rather than catch him in the hallways he was so rarely seen in these days, the least he could do was offer him his full attention. Of course, there was nothing beneficial from that.

The young man crossed the room and sat in a chair next to his father. This didn't fell like all the other conversations he had held with his father. Normally, he wasn't this apprehensive. Why was he suddenly feeling like this? It had seemed like such a great idea on his way but he was having his doubts now.

"Um, well," he stammered, "I've just noticed that you're acting a little strange. I'm worried about you, really, because you seem so sad and distant lately. I really only remember you like this once and it was after Volde—"

"Please, don't," whispered James, defeated. His reasons for not wanting to hear the Dark Lord's name were completely different than that of other wizards and witches. Fear was not the demon that caused him to hide from something as simple as a name. Memories conjured by the name were far more terrifying than his fear of the person.

"I'm sorry, Green Eyes," he continued. "I don't mean to worry you. My mind has been a bit preoccupied as of late with things that really aren't healthy for me to be thinking about in my present state of mind."

"Is it about Pettigrew?"

James looked from the table to his son and frowned.

"I think you owe me the true story, Dad. All I've ever heard is that Sirius didn't kill him and that Peter did something horrible. How am I supposed to help you? How can I make you feel better if I don't know what's going on?"

Harry frowned, oddly embarrassed that he had just poured his heart out to his dad in a bit of angry and frustrated tone.

He glanced at the man sitting next to him, who ran his hands through his hair in a nervous habit.

It wasn't fair at all to Harry to keep the truth from him for so long. There was only so many times that he could blame his depressing behavior on nightmares and bad days.

"When your mother and I graduated," started James, "with Sirius, Remus, and Peter, we were quick to join the fight against Voldemort." Harry frowned as his father forced the name out with an involuntary shudder.

"But we tried not to get swallowed up in the war. Your mother and I still had a grand wedding, and all the Marauders were present. It was one of the few times I can claim was perfect during such a growing presence of evil," he continued. "But we were still young, and everyone advised against us starting a family so soon. After all, our lives were hectic. I was just coming out of Auror training and the Order was getting more serious in our fight against the Death Eaters and their Dark Lord."

This wasn't the first time he had told that story, so it was coming out in a tone bordering on monotonous.

"Lily and I just smiled and nodded, ignoring everything they told us. I even turned a deaf ear to everyone's reservations about Sirius being your godfather. They said that we were too immature.

"I can't remember a time when I was happier than the very first time I held you in my arms," admitted the father with a proud smile. He held Harry's hand as he spoke, both for comfort and memory. "And Sirius had a gift for making you smile. It can't really be described with words.

"You were the light in our darkness, but the darkness was quickly trying to extinguish this light. A prophecy had been told before you were born. All anyone told us was that, according to this prophecy, you were going to bring about the end of the Dark Lord.

"This brought up suspicions, though. With the Death Eaters trying to get us, it was suggested into the four of us, the Marauders, that there could be a traitor amongst us. It was Pettigrew who planted the idea in our group that Remus might be because of the lycanthropy. So many dark creatures were running with darkness that it wasn't a far-fetched idea."

He seemed almost ashamed of admitting it. It was a mutual feeling that they had wronged Remus in their decision to cast him from the group.

"It wasn't until it became necessary to go into hiding that we cut communication off with him. Dumbledore set everything up, and we just had to pick a secretkeeper."

"Sirius was your first choice, right?"

The wizard smiled at his son and nodded. "I trusted him with not only my life, but the lives of you and your mother. Sirius, however, didn't think it was such a great idea because he was such an obvious. He knew that he would die under the torture of Voldemort before he gave up our lives. He didn't want to take chances with our lives, though.

"It took an unbelievable amount of convincing, but Peter was eventually made our secretkeeper."

James stopped, but he didn't have to continue. Harry hugged his father, and he realized that it could have gone worse. He could have lost something far more precious than a part of his sanity.

"I don't think you're crazy," whispered the boy, holding onto his father. "It doesn't bother me when people tease me about it. I don't care because you're the best father ever. You've always been there for me and I know that you always will be. That's all that really matters to me—that I still have you."

He was speechless as he stared down at his son. Why was it that sometimes the most complicated things could be explained using the simplest of logic? Harry had made a point, whether he meant to or not. It was so simple. James was letting his grudge against Peter consume him slowly, and he needed to focus on what was more important.

The father hugged his son and kissed his forehead. "I love you, Green Eyes," he whispered softly. "You know that?"

"I've always known that," replied Harry. "And you'll know that I love you, too, right?"

James nodded and smiled.

The door swung open and closed abruptly. Once the door was closed, Sirius transformed from the dog to a very disgruntled human. Nothing in particular was responsible for pissing off the animagus—his life was just one really bad day.

He opened his mouth to begin ranting, but froze when he laid eyes on his thirteen-year old godson.

"Oh Merlin...Harry?" he asked. In his present state of mind the questions did sound like such a stupid one. What if this was just a trick? Was this really Harry Potter?

"Yeah, unless my Mum and Dad have been lying to me for the past thirteen years," remarked Harry casually. Using humor as a defense mechanism was definitely something he got from his father.

Now that he was able to stand there and examine Harry so thoroughly, he realized just how many things he had gotten from his father. His taste in frames for his glasses was definitely an inherited trait from Prongs.

"You look so much like your father," was all he could manage to say despite knowing that countless numbers of people would have already told the boy that. It wasn't the best way to start off the first true conversation he would be having with his godson.

But there just weren't words in any language that could possibly express every thing his head that he wanted to say.

James stepped off a bit and let Sirius have his time with Harry. He retreated to the back of the room to study the Marauders' Map once more while his friend attempted to speak to his son.

Everything moved so fast in his mind that he couldn't decide where to start. Of course, he would have to say something because Harry was beginning to look at him as though he were stupid.

"Harry, I'm sorry," he said with a crooked smile. "Despite the grand job your father and Moony have done in completely ruining Lily's sweet little boy, I should have been there to contribute to your corruption. That...and I should have been there to be the godfather I was chosen to be." The knot in his stomach was coming loose.

"I'm not going to go around hating you for it," admitted the fledgling wizard. "I couldn't possibly hold a grudge against you. I suppose I'm too much like my father—"

"Oh, I'm more than capable of holding a grudge against Sirius," James chimed in. "They just don't last impressively long."

Sirius laughed at his friend's remark. The knot in his stomach came undone. He smiled at his godson, who found himself to be speechless at the moment. Harry had really come to see if his dad was doing well like he was so inclined to say in casual conversations. Thoughts of actually seeing his godfather for the first time that he could remember had never crossed his mind.

"I imagined this to feel a little different," commented Harry finally. "It feels so casual. Not really dramatic. Aren't things like this supposed to be some big ordeal?"

The fugitive shrugged and smiled, "Not if you're a Marauder. None of us have ever been real big on dramatics and such. Sure, we've got our moments, but those are a rare oddity. You're lucky I didn't just tear into you on first sight as is true Marauder fashion. Too bad you're so much like your father—it offers for a great amount of material."

"Give him a few weeks to get used to your ever annoying and obnoxious presence before you start picking on the poor boy," said James, his voice distant. The map had once again consumed his attention as he watched a dot labeled the odd name of Crookshanks chasing the one labeled as Peter Pettigrew.

Harry looked at his watch and realized that he would need to get back to the Gryffindor tower eventually. Thus, he smiled and hugged Sirius tightly before turning to his father.

"Are you going to be at the Quidditch game tomorrow?"

James had to remove himself from the hell he had created. This meant setting his mind on more important things for a time being.

"I wouldn't miss it, Green Eyes."

* * *

True to his word, James had pulled himself away from the map long enough for a refreshing bit of sleep he had been lacking before going to the Quidditch Pitch to watch the match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. 

An unnatural bit of worry fluttered through his heart once he saw the weather conditions. Torrential rain was not an uncommon condition to play in for a Quidditch star. It was not something, however, that he would wish upon his son.

And, as a parent, he was very disapproving of him playing in such deplorable conditions.

Finally, the wizard took his seat beside Remus J. Lupin, who did not look pleased about having to watch the game in such a horrid rainstorm.

"If I didn't love your son so much," remarked the professor, "I would be sitting inside by the warm fire reading a nice book. You do realize how appealing the mere thought of that scenario is, right?"

"I'll agree with you, but the book in my mind is better replaced by the map," admitted his companion his companion. "I'm working on that, though.

"This does bring you back a few years, doesn't it?" he added abruptly to change the subject.

"I believe you broke and arm, broke a leg, dislocated your shoulder, received a very nasty concussion, and made Lily cry," said Lupin shortly. He smiled at the glare cast his way.

"Mr. Prongs would like to comment on how he appreciates Mr. Moony's vivid memory," stated James sarcastically, "and his fantastic ability to make Mr. Prongs feel like a giant prat."

"I love you," said the werewolf with an innocent smile.

James simply sighed in a defeated way and smiled. "I love you, too, Moony."

Lightning whipped across the sky accompanied by the roar of the ferocious thunder, nature's greeting to the players as they stepped onto the field. Rain beat upon them as they mounted their brooms, waiting for the signal.

The whistle sounded, barely audible over the sound of the pouring rain, roaring thunder, and howling winds. Like branches of a tree tossed to the mercy of the storm, the players of the two teams struggled to keep control of their brooms as the game began.

A great roar erupted from the crowd as the quaffle came into play. With the release of the quaffle, the game was well on its way to being a very interesting one. It was immediately seized by the Gryffindor team, who wasted no time in going for their opponents' goal rings. As the chasers and beaters flew about the field and the keepers watched them in eager suspense, the seekers circled the field like eagles searching for its prey.

While Remus found a bit of pleasure in watching the rest of the game, James's eyes were fixed on his son. While the hazel eyes hid emotion well, he made no attempt to hide the fact that he was worried about Harry.

"If he falls from that height, would it kill him?"

The werewolf blinked and looked up at Harry, who was undoubtedly flying higher than the rest of the students.

"Let's pray he doesn't fall."

Harry whispered an angry curse as the lightning lashed out across the sky. A deafening roar of thunder followed the lightning's path. He squinted against the rain, searching desperately for the elusive golden snitch. The sooner he ended the game, the better for all of them.

The young Quidditch prodigy chanced a look at the crowd below. Even though they all looked like simple little blurred dots in the rain, he could still pick out his father out of the crowd.

Despite Hermione's helpful little charm causing the rain to bounce off his goggles, he found that the rain was still blinding. Seeing the snitch would be an impossible task. Still, he had Quidditch in his blood basically.

Seeing as though this was the first time that he had actually played in conditions this bad, he wasn't quite sure what to expect. He willed all his being into focusing on finding the snitch. Ending this game as early as possible would benefit everyone involved in the game and those watching it.

Lightning once again lashed out at the players. The brief flash of light illuminated the golden snitch for a few brief moments, but it was gone after that.

"Go Harry!" shouted his proud father, smiling as he watched the boy.

Remus laughed at him. "You can see him as bad as your vision is?" he asked. "You're practically blind without your glasses."

"Well, I can't see him particularly well," replied James. "Besides, I don't need to see him. I just know that he's there."

The wind unleashed another strong series of gusts. Lightning whipped across the sky as if it were trying to strike down the players flying throughout the field. Harry watched Fred and George briefly and then became distracted momentarily by the roaring crowd. Gryffindor had scored.

A streak of gold passed by the corner of his eye. The young wizard turned his broom against the wind and went after it. It led him through a strange pattern of loops and turns. It was not long before Cedric Diggory, the Hufflepuff seeker, noticed this and went after the golden snitch as well. As if it had noticed this, the winged speed demon pulled the two racers into the heart of the game. Even their fellow players became obstacles as the two boys tried to beat each other to the golden prize. The two weaved in and out of players, recklessly dodging the bludgers. Harry urged his broom to go faster. He just needed to get a little closer…

The crowd was nearly on edge as they watched Harry and Cedric speeding through the field. The Gryffindor seeker swiped at the golden snitch, but the little bugger saw this as a challenge and went into a straight climb into the stormy skies. Nothing could bend the will of either boy as they raced upwards, both of them having no objections to following that snitch to hell and back. Harry set his eyes and heart on the snitch, pushing the Firebolt to go faster and faster. Unfortunately, they were going against the storm. It was growing harder and harder as the storm raged on.

Darting through the clouds after the snitch, he found himself close enough to reach out to it several times only to have it pull ahead of him teasingly. It had enough courtesy to play this game with the other seeker as well.

A chill began to grow in Harry's body that was much different from the cold induced by the freezing winds blowing mercilessly against him. This chill grew to a cold grip that seemed to seize his very soul, dragging a fear and panic out from deep within the dark shadows of his mind. He became deaf to the roar of the thunder and whistle of the wind. Abruptly, he turned his broom and was met by several ominous black masses.

All thoughts of catching the ever elusive snitch were replaced with a numbing darkness and silence as the young wizard struggled to keep his focus and consciousness. Sounds of the raging storm suddenly stopped as the darkness was punctured by voices all too familiar to him.

"_Where have you hidden the child? Where is he? You cannot protect him forever."_

"_You're wrong! I will always protect him. No one, not even you, can harm my son as long as I am alive."_

"_CRUCIO!"_

Harry cried out for his father as the man's anguished cries echoed through his mind.

James gave an involuntary shudder, feeling that something was wrong. He closed his eyes and began to massage his temples. Maybe his worry was just getting the better of him.

His attention couldn't help but be drawn away as shouts of fear and surprise rang out throughout the pitch. Following where everyone was pointing and indicating, he looked up to see his son plummeting towards the ground. Why wasn't he on his broom? What happened?

The crowd watched helplessly as the Gryffindor seeker began to plummet to the ground, falling from his broom while the game raged on around him. It seemed to be taking forever for him to fall as the dementors swarmed on the Quidditch pitch like vultures. Remus stood on reflex and drew his wand. He held a vast knowledge of magic, but he could think of nothing to save the son of his dear friend. No doubt, he thought, James was staring in horror while his son fell to the hard ground.

Prongs had long since been informed as to his son's reaction to the dementors, and was having his doubts as to if they would do the same to him. But he wasn't one known for sitting still when his loved ones needed him. He was, however, known for doing extremely dangerous things to save said loved ones.

Without any further thought on the subject, James drew his wand and pointed it up.

"_Accio Firebolt!_" he yelled. He jumped from the stands and mounted the broom before streaking across the sky to save Harry. Every student and professor in Hogwarts jumped to their feet as they saw the man who defeated Voldemort jump from the bleachers and grab his son's broom in midair. With talent and skill that was possessed only by a skilled professional, James went after his son.

James Potter flew straight into the air and then came down at his son in a dive. As the dementors closed in, he reached out and grabbed Harry. The father clutched his child against him, but he was beginning to feel the effect of the dark creatures. The world around him was slowly fading away as his body became cold and weak. With all his might, he willed himself to hold onto his son.

"_You cannot protect him forever._"

He shook his head and gripped his son tighter against him as the last of his vision was slowly deteriorating into a frightening obscurity.

"You're wrong!" he shouted defiantly, despite the fact that he was yelling at a nightmarish memory. "I will always protect him!"

He pointed his wand at the dementors before the last of his strength seeped out of his body.

"_EXPECTO PATRONUM!_"

A silver mist burst from the end of his wand, shielding him from the dementors. Their effects, however, had already sunk in.

The last thing the conscious Prongs remembered was striking the hard ground of the Quidditch pitch with Harry against his chest—and feeling quite proud that he had been able to prove Voldemort wrong.

* * *

**Author's Notes: All of you should know by now that this is going to be a regular occurrence. I want to thank those who agreed with me about the jackass review. Apparently, he wasted so much of what little courage he had in writing such an execrable statement that he didn't have the guts to put his name on it.**

**Oh well, I'm done fuming over you.**

**But because this chapter was planned out in advance, as most of them are, the memory about the trial in the beginning of the chapter had nothing to do with that horrid review.**

**Moony and Prongs little exchange at the beginning of the Quidditch match is reminiscent on something my Remy and I do on countless occasions. I like to draw from real life, eh?**

**I think Harry and Sirius meeting for the first time in a long time could have gone better. To put it plainly, I'm not exactly pleased with this chapter. It's a little unlike me. I don't know. I suppose it really matters what you think, right?**

**I know this may sadden very few of you, but there are only two chapters left. For those of you reading my other work, I plan on rewriting _To Always Remember_, and will most likely write a James/Lily fic. I seem to be in the mood. **


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